The Whelk Song
Composer(s): West - Reine
Performer(s): Alan Breeze & Doreen Stephens



Stephens:
Alive-alive-o, alive-alive-o, singing cockles and mussels, alive-alive-o

Breeze:
If you don't want the whelks don't muck `em abaht
If you don't want `em other people may"

There's a fellow you should meet, runs a fish shop down our street
He wraps it up in paper every day
When they're crowding round the stall, he addresses one and al
And this is what you'll always hear him say"

Nah, if you don't want the whelks don't muck `em abaht
And take yer baby's fingers off the slab (They're covered in chocolate!)
Lovely two eyed kippers, take `em for the nippers
Take a hake or a nice cod steak
Soles and eels for the old man's meals
They're lovely – they're all fresh in today
So if you don't want the whelks don't muck `em abaht
If you don't want `em other people may

Stephens: Ooh! Mum, can I have some winkles?
Breeze: Them's not winkles, dearie, them's whelks
Stephens: Well, can I have some whelks then?

Breeze: No you can't! You'll only swallow `em, shells an' all 
Now look what happened the other day 
Your father and I were just in time to stop you swallowing the front wheel of a steam roller

Stephens: Why don't I keep my big mouth shut!

Billy Cotton: Nah then Missus 
Do you want these `ere whelks, cos they're lovely

Breeze:
If you don't want the whelks don't muck `em abaht
And move yer pram and let the others in (You're blocking the doorway)
Lovely two eyed kippers, take `em for the nippers
Take a hake or a nice cod steak
Roes or trout for the old man's gout
They're lovely, they're all fresh in today
So if you don't want the whelks don't muck `em abaht
If you don't want `em other people may

Breeze:
All nice and juicy

Stephens:
Alive-alive-o, alive-alive-o, singing cockles and mussels, alive-alive-o