The Wild West Is Where I Want To Be
Composer(s): Tom Lehrer
First release by: Tom Lehrer - 1953



Now if I may indulge in a bit of personal history 
a few years ago I worked for a while at the Los Alamos scientific laboratory in New Mexico 
I had a job there as a spy
Now, I guess you know that the staff out there at that time was composed almost exclusively of spies... 
of one persuasion or another 
And, while I was out there
I came to realize how much the Wild West had changed since the good old days of Wyatt Earp and Home on the Range 
and here then is a modern cowboy ballad commemorating that delightful metamorphosis called 
The Wild West Is Where I Wanna Be

Along the trail you'll find me lopin'
Where the spaces are wide open
In the land of the old A.E.C. (yea-hah!)
Where the scenery's attractive
And the air is radioactive
Oh, the wild west is where I wanna be

Mid the sagebrush and the cactus
I'll watch the fellas practice
Droppin' bombs through the clean desert breeze
I'll have on my sombrero
And of course I'll wear a pair o'
Levis over my lead B.V.D.'s

Ah will leave the city's rush
Leave the fancy and the plush
Leave the snow and leave the slush
And the crowds
Ah will seek the desert's hush
Where the scenery is lush
How I long to see the mushroom clouds

'Mid the yuccas and the thistles
I'll watch the guided missiles
While the old F.B.I. watches me (yea-hah!)
Yes, I'll soon make my appearance
(Soon as I can get my clearance)
'Cause the wild west is where I wanna be