Turn 'Erbert's Face To The Wall
Composer(s): Ronald Hill
Performer(s): Gracie Fields



We once were a most happy 'ousehold
With smiles on our lips all the time
Till some cruel and black-hearted villain
Showed us the pathway to crime

Young 'Erbert he patronised racin'
But none of his 'orses would win
So he robbed a harmless old bookie
And went off to gaol for his sin

Turn 'Erbert's face to the wall, Mother
Never more mention 'is name
For he's brought disgrace on the family
And bowed down our 'eads with shame

Father took lessons in forgin'
Found notes were 'is favourite line
Till he offered one in the Courthouse
When he had to pay a small fine

Turn Father's face to the wall, Mother
His photograph turn on its nail
He won't see the last rose this summer
They've taken him back to gaol

Rosie, she went to the pictures
An innocent girl she was then
She forgot what her mother had told her
About taking gifts from strange men

Turn Rosie's face to the wall, Mother
Her picture shall 'ang on black string
She may have her furs and her jewels
But she's got no wedding ring

Oh, it's perfectly awful
I don't know what family's comin' to, oh dear

Our 'ousehold is scattered and broken
Our future will n'er be the same
Young Alfred has now departed
And Sally has lost her good name

Turn us all 'round to the wall, Mother
We're all just as bad as can be
And it's all through you meetin' poor Father
You've ruined the family

Oh dear, it's terrible, it's terrible
I think we all ought to die out
Perhaps we could get somebody come in and shoot us