It's In The Book
Composer(s): Johnny Standley; Art Thorsen
Performer(s): Johnny Standley



I have a message for you, a very sad message! 
My subject for this evening will be Little Bo Peep

It says here, "Little Bo Peep", who was a little girl 
"has lost her sheep, and doesn't know where to find them" 
Now that's reasonable, isn't it? 
It's, it's reasonable to assume if Little Bo Peep had lost her sheep 
it's only natural that she wouldn't know where to find them 
That, that basically is reasonable, but, uh, "leave them alone" 
Now that overwhelms me … completely overwhelms me 
The man said she lost her sheep, turns right around and boldly states 
"She doesn't know where to find them" 
And then has the stupid audacity to say, "Leave them alone!" 
Now! Now, now think for a moment! Think! 
If the sheep were lost, and you couldn't find them 
you'd have to leave them alone, wouldn't you? 
So, "Leave them alone" 
"Leave them alone"
It's in the book!

"Leave them alone and they", they being the sheep, "they will come home" 
Ah yes, they'll come home 
Oh, there'll be a brighter day tomorrow, they will come home! 
It's in the book

"They will come home a-waggin' their tails" 
Pray tell me what else could they wag? 
"They will come home a-waggin' their tails behind them, behind them!" 
Did we think they'd wag them in front? 
Of course, they might have come home in reverse 
They could have done that, I really don't know 
But, none the less, it's in the book

So now if you will, kindly pick up your books, and turn to page 222
We'll ask you all to sing 
You'll find your books on the backs of your seats 
Are we ready?

Everyone, 222 
Let's really enjoy ourselves, let's live it up 
All together

Do you remember grandma's lye soap?
Good for everything in the home
And the secret was in the scrubbing
It wouldn't suds and couldn't foam

Then let us sing right out for grandma's, for grandma's lye soap
Used for, for everything, everything on the place
For pots and kettles, the dirty dishes
And for your hands and for your face

So we'll now sing the second verse 
Let's get it with great exuberance, let's live it up 
It's not raining inside tonight
Everyone, let's have a happy time 
Are we ready? 
All together, the second verse

Little Herman and brother Thurman
Had an aversion to washing their ears
Grandma scrubbed them with the lye soap
And they haven't heard a word in years

Then let us sing right out for grandma's, for grandma's lye soap
Sing all out, all over the place
For pots and kettles, the dirty dishes
And for your hands and for your face

Well, let's sing what's left of the last verse 
Let's have a happy time, everyone 
The last verse, all together 
Everyone!

Mrs. O'Malley, out in the valley
Suffered from Ulcers, I understand
She swallowed a cake of grandma's lye soap
Has the cleanest ulcers in the land

Then let us sing right out for grandma's, for grandma's lye soap
Sing right out, all over the place
The pots and, the pots and pans, oh dirty dishes
And for your hands and for your face

Christmas Serenade
Performer(s): Johnny Maestro



I walk along the city streets, as it's nearing Christmas day
And the falling snow is music to my ears
In the rumble of the subways, in the shoppers hustling by
There's a melody in everything I hear

It's like a Christmas serenade
Street musicians and the horse drawn sleigh
Coloured street lights watch the world at play
A Christmas serenade

From the Santas on the corner, to the skaters in the park
Every sound's another symphony to me
I can hear the Christmas carols, from the children in the square
Singing songs in perfect harmony

It's like a Christmas serenade
Street musicians and the horse drawn sleigh
Coloured street lights watch the world at play
A Christmas serenade

Deep in my heart I can hear a song
Wish the feeling lasted all year long

It's like a Christmas serenade
Street musicians and the horse drawn sleigh
Coloured street lights watch the world at play
A Christmas serenade

It's like a Christmas serenade
Street musicians and the horse drawn sleigh
Coloured street lights watch the world at play
A Christmas serenade

It’s In The Air
Composer(s): Harry Parr-Davies
Performer(s): George Formby



It’s in the air
This funny feeling everywhere
The sun is shining everywhere
And spring makes everybody sing
It’s in the air

It’s in the air
There’s great excitement here and there
The sun is shining everywhere
And spring makes everybody sing
It’s in the air

Zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo, high and low
Zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo, here we go

It’s in the air
I feel so smart and debonair
And I must warn each lady fair
Beware, look out and have a care
It’s in the air

It’s in the air
This funny feeling everywhere
The sun is shining everywhere
And spring makes everybody sing
It’s in the air

It’s in the air
There’s great excitement here and there
The sun is shining everywhere
And spring makes everybody sing
It’s in the air

Zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo, high and low
Zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo, here we go

It’s in the air
I feel so smart and debonair
And I must warn each lady fair
Beware, look out and have a care
It’s in the air

It’s in the air
I feel so smart and debonair
And I must warn each lady fair
Beware, look out and have a care
It’s in the air

Christmas Shopping
Composer(s): Buck Owens - Charles H. Anderson
Performer(s): Buck Owens



I got ten toy soldiers for Billy Joe I got coloring book for Sue
I got a little toy train for Danny boy and a cowboy suit for Loui
I got a talkin' baby doll for Cindy I got a pair o'roller skates for Jane
And baby if we ever have any more kiss Christmas shoppin's gonna drive me insane

Gonna go this Christmas shopping well I wonder if I'll ever get through
I tried to get everybody somethin' that they wanted
But I didn't know what to get you
I read the kids letters to Santa Claus I read 'em over one by one
And I surely like to get my hands on the fella that said Christmas shoppin's fun
I got ten toy soldiers...

Well I must've walked a hundred miles or more I went to every store in town
My feet started swellin' and my head started achin'
And I couldn't find a place to sit down
But to tell you the truth well I really don't mind it I could even walk another mile
Cause on Christmas mornin' when they open up the presents
Well it's worth it just to see them smile
I got ten toy soldiers...

It's In His Kiss 
(French Version: Shoop Shoop ... Va L'embrasser)
Composer(s): Rudy Clarke - 1964
First release by: Merry Clayton - 1963
Covered by multiple other artists



Does he love me; I wanna know
how can I tell if he loves me so?
Is it in his eyes?
Oh no you need to see
is it in his eyes?
Oh no hell make believe

if you wanna know if he loves you so
it's in his kiss
that's where it is oh yeah

or is it in his face?
It's just a show
in his warm embrace?
Oh no that's just his arms
{likewise with the shoop shoop}
if you wanna know if he loves you so
it's in his kiss
that's where it is

oh oh oh hug him and squeeze him tight
find out what you wanna know
if it's love, if it really is
it's there in his kiss

how bout the way he acts?
Oh no that's not the way
and you're not listening to all I say
{likewise with the shoop shoop}
if you wanna know if he loves you so
it's in his kiss
that's where it is
oh oh oh it's in his kiss that's where it is

repeat the last 2 verses

Christmas Present
Composer(s): Rick Braun - Nick Lane
Performer(s): Rick Braun



Christmas present, Christmas tree
Children's eyes are wide to see
Santa's present 'neath the tree
All day asked for on his knee

Christmas present, Christmas past
From the presents, which one's last
Christmas future sure to be
Looking underneath the tree

For the present, look high, not low
Christmas was a gift itself many years ago
Christmas presents at the start
Was a gift from someone's heart

Christ is Christmas, that day is His
That's what Christmas presents is

It's Impossible
(Adapted from: Somos Novios - 1970)
Composer(s): Sid Wayne; Armando Manzanero
Performer(s): Perry Como - 1970
and multiple other artists



It's impossible to tell the sun to leave the sky
It's just impossible
It's impossible to ask a baby not to cry
It's just impossible
Can I hold you closer to me
And not feel you going through me
But the second that I never think of you
Oh, how impossible

Can the ocean keep from rushing to the shore
It's just impossible
If I had you could I ever ask for more
It's just impossible
And tomorrow, should you ask me for the world
Somehow I'd get it, I would sell my very soul
And not regret it for to live without your love
Is just impossible

Can the ocean keep from rushing to the shore
It's just impossible
If I had you could I ever ask for more
It's just impossible
And tomorrow, should you ask me for the world
Somehow I'd get it, I would sell my very soul
And not regret it for to live without your love
Is just impossible
Oh impossible
Impossible
Impossible

Christmas Present
Composer(s): Sydney Robin
Performer(s): Doris Day; Don Vappie



Boxes stacked up to the ceiling
All wrapped up in Christmas feeling 
Golden bells caress the mistletoe
The colors glow-red, silver, green and blue
And this I know this rainbow came from you trimmed with dew
Tho my heart is overflowing 
Loving all the love you're showing 
What I'd value most would be your call 
To tell me when you'll be home in my arms again
The loveliest Christmas present of them all
What I'd value most would be your call 
To tell me when you'll be home in my arms again
The loveliest Christmas present of them all

It's Harry I'm Planning To Marry
Composer(s): Sammy Fain; Paul Francis Webster
Performer(s): Gale Robbins
and multiple other artists



When you turn to the subject of Harry
That's a horse from a different safari
He can box like a fox, he's as dumb as an ox
But it's Harry I'm planning to marry

(Yes, it's Harry she's plannin' to marry)

My heart's twined around his suspenders
He's the one that I truly adore
I'm numb, I succumb when he renders
The face on the bar room floor

When he flexes his muscles, I flutter
Like a butterfly caught in a shutter
When he calls me his mate
I just disintegrate

Since the world first began (Since the world first began)
Never been such a man (Never been such a man)
Who could love like he can
So it's Harry I'm planning to marry!

Christmas Past, Present And Future
Composer(s): Al Kasha - Ron Dante - Paul "Limey" Murray
Performer(s): Ashlee Simpson



I'll be your girl - of Christmas Past
I'll be your girl - of Christmas Present
I'll be your girl - for Christmas Future
'Cause you make me wanna say
Back when we were ten, we were the best of friends
But who knew back then, that this love would never end?
It was Christmas Day, now I heard you say
That we'd be together, and we'd take it all the way
Now that we are grown, I never feel alone
On this Christmas Eve, by your side I wanna be
Snow is falling down, cheer is all around
Makes me wanna say, I will be right here
I'll be your Christmas past, present and future, baby
Your yesterday, everyday, tomorrow too
I'll be your Christmas past, present and future, baby
I will be right here
(I'm gonna be there for you)
My heartg goes jing-a-ling, each time those sleigh bells ring
We'll forever be together, you're my everything
I know that this is real, I like the way it feels
When we're hangin' by the fireside, cuddling
Under the mistletoe, I'll show you what I know
You'll be my present, baby, and I'll never let you go
'Cause at this Christmastime, so gla that you are mine
Makes me wanna say, I will be right here
I'll be your Christmas past, present and future, baby
Your yesterday, everyday, tomorrow too
I'll be your Christmas past, present and future, baby
I will be right here
(You know I'm gonna be here)
Not just a Christmas thing
Year 'round, the joy you bring
It just makes my heart sing
When I'm with you
So at this Christmastime
With your lips kissing mine
I'm gonna celebrate
This love we share
I'll be your Christmas past, present and future, baby
Your yesterday, everyday, tomorrow too
I'll be your Christmas past, present and future, baby
I will be right here
I'll be your Christmas past, present and future, baby
Your yesterday, everyday, tomorrow too
I'll be your Christmas past, present and future, baby
I will be right here
I will be right here

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
Composer(s): Rodney Crowell; Vince Gill
Performer(s): The Notorious Cherry Bombs



She used to call me baby
I thought she was such a lady
But my, how things have changed
Since times moved on

I gave her my last dollar
And now all she'll do is holler
Oh, my life has become
A country song

I've learned she can resist me
By the way she always disses me
And comes to bed at night
With that cold cream on

Sometimes I might feel frisky
But these days it's just too risky

It's hard to kiss the lips at night
That chew your ass out all day long
All day long
It goes on and on

If a tree fell in the forest, she didn't hear it
Would I still be wrong?
I guess I should admit it
She ain't never gonna quit it

It's hard to kiss the lips at night
That chew your ass out all day long

Man I remember when her eyes
Used to be so blue and shiny
God you oughta see
What's happened to her hiney
(Her what?) her hiney

Man that thing is big enough
To land a small plane on
(Small plane?) I'm tellin' ya
I used to roll her in the clover (Mmm, hmm)
But thank God those days are over (Halleluiah!)

It's hard to kiss the lips at night
That chew your ass out all day long
All day long
She goes all day long

If some day they drop the big one
I'd say sweet Jesus
She's gonna finally leave me alone

It's alright if we say it
'Cause the radio won't play it

It's hard to kiss the lips at night
That chew your ass out all day long
It's hard to kiss the lips at night
That chew your ass out all day long...

Christmas Night In Harlem
Composer(s): Mitchell Parish - Raymond Scott
Performer(s): Jack Teagarden & Johnny Mercer
and multiple other artists



(Jack) Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Glory Halle...
(Johnny) What's all that noise?
(Jack) Hallelujah!
(Johnny) Don't give up with that now
(Jack) Glory Halle...
(Johnny) Who's that over in the corner?
(Jack) Hallelujah!
(Johnny) I believe that's Mr. Teagarden
Hey what you doin' up there, Man?
Last time I saw you you were sayin' fare thee well to Harlem
(Jack) I done bin wise g'wine an' I ain't g'wine there n'more
(Johnny) You sho' come back the right time it's Christmas up here
(Jack) What d'ya mean up here, it's Christmas ev'rywhere
(Johnny) Yeah, but it ain't all Christmas like it's Christmas in Harlem
(Jack) No?
(Johnny) Ev'ry gal struttin' with her beau
Through the streets covered white with snow
Happy smiles er'ywhere you go
Christmas night in Harlem
(Jack) Black and tans feelin' mighty good
In that old coloured neighbourhood
Here and now be it understood
Christmas night in Harlem
(Johnny) Ev'ryone is gonna sit up
Until after three
Ev'ryone will be all lit up
Like a Christmas tree
(Jack) Come on now ev'ry coal black Joe
You just lead me t'the mistletoe
With a kiss and a hi-de-ho
Christmas night in Harlem
(Johnny) Hee Hee, man, Dog, what'd Santa Claus leave in your stockin'?
(Jack) Let me see, there's an orange, a jar of Kink-Out and Man, look at this slide trombone
(Johnny) Yeah, but it might not sound so pretty, let me hear you tune it
(Jack) Mr Mercer, I'm glad to be
Back in this festivity
(Johnny) Ah, you said it Mr T
It's Christmas night in Harlem
(Jack) Well it's Christmas night in Harlem
Man, you drew the pitful

It's Hard To Be Humble
Composer(s): MacDavis
Performer(s): MacDavis



Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror 
'cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble 
But I'm doing the best that I can

I used to have a girlfriend 
But I guess she just couldn't compete
With all of these love-starved women 
Who keep clamouring at my feet
Well, I probably could find me another 
But I guess they're all in awe of me
Who cares--I never get lonesome 
'cause I treasure my own company

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror 
'cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble 
But I'm doing the best that I can

I guess you could say I'm a loner 
A cowboy outlaw tough and proud
Oh I could have lots of friends if I want 'em 
But then I wouldn't stand out in a crowd
Some folks say that I'm egotistical 
Hell, I don't even know what that means
But I think it has something to do with the way 
That I fill out my skin-tight blue-jeans

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror 
'cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble 
But I'm doing the best that I can

Christmas Memories
Composer(s): Joey Miskulin
Performer(s): Frankie Yankovic



Hello, this is 'Weird Al' Yankovic
You know, some of my favorite memories
are those of Christmastime
I still remember when I was a little boy, just waiting for the big day
Mom would be cooking up a mess of boysenberry 
and tunafish burritos for our big Christmas dinner 
and dad would be decorating the tree with little bits of Spam
And then, the big day would finally arrive
I'd stay up all night and wait for Santa 
a-a-and when he finally showed up
we'd all hold his hands down in the waffle maker 
until he promised to give us everything we wanted
Ah, yeah, those were the days
Well, Merry Christmas everybody, and, let's do lunch

It's Hard To Be A Saint In The City
Composer(s): Bruce Springsteen
First release by: Bruce Springsteen - 1973



I had skin like leather and the diamond-hard look of a cobra
I was born blue and weathered but I burst just like a supernova
I could walk like Brando right into the sun, then dance just like a Casanova
With my blackjack and jacket and hair slicked sweet
Silver star studs on my duds, just like a Harley in heat
When I strut down the street, I could feel its heart beat
The sisters fell back and said, "Don't that man look pretty"
The cripple on the corner cried out, "Nickels for your pity"
Them gasoline boys downtown sure talk gritty
It's so hard to be a saint in the city

I was the king of the alley, Mama, I could talk some trash
I was the prince of the paupers, crowned downtown at the beggar's bash
I was the pimp's main prophet, I kept everything cool
Just a backstreet gambler with the luck to lose
And when the heat came down it was left on the ground
The devil appeared like Jesus through the steam in the street
Showin' me a hand I knew even the cops couldn't beat
I felt his hot breath on my neck as I dove into the heat
It's so hard to be a saint when you're just a boy out on the street

And the sages of the subway sit just like the living dead
As the tracks clack out the rhythm, their eyes fixed straight ahead
They ride the line of balance and hold on by just a thread
But it's too hot in these tunnels, you can get hit up by the heat
You get up to get out at your next stop, but they push you back in your seat
Your heart starts beatin' faster as you struggle to your feet
Then you're outa that hole and back up on the street

And them South Side sisters sure look pretty
The cripple on the corner cries out, "Nickels for your pity"
And them downtown boys sure talk gritty
It's so hard to be a saint in the city

Christmas Memories
Composer(s): Alan Bergman - Marilyn Bergman - Don Costa
Performer(s): Frank Sinatra
and multiple other artists



Singing carols, stringing popcorn
Making footprints in the snow
Memories, Christmas memories
They're the sweetest ones I know

Cookies baking in the kitchen
Carols in rhythm everywhere
Precious, Christmas memories
Float like snowflakes in the air

Oh the joy of waking Christmas morning
The family 'round the tree
We had a way of making Christmas morning
As merry as can be

I close my eyes and see shining faces
Of all the children who now have children of their own
Funny, but comes December
And I remember every Christmas I've known

It's Happening To You
Composer(s): John Prine; John Burns 
Performer(s): John Prine; Chris Hillman



Well it's the same old song
Boy meets girl
And girl meets boy
They carry on
They close their eyes
And kiss until the world is gone
Oh yes it's true
It's happening to you

You know what they say
They pledge their love forever
Then they add a day
They hold their hands so tight
In the fear
That one might stray
Oh yes it's true
It's happening to you

I loved her
She loved me too
We had a lot of love
Now it's all through

And for a while
Their hearts beat one
As they match each other
Smile for smile
They dance away the night
As they praise
The others style
Oh yes it's true
It's happening to you

Christmas Memories
Composer(s): Randy Albright - John Greenebaum - Becky Hobbs
Performer(s): Alabama; Groovegrass Boyz; Eddie Kamae



There's a blanket of snow coverin' up the old road
To the house where I was raised
Through the window I see the lights on the tree
And a glow from the old fireplace
Though it all looks the same, so much has changed
From the way it used to be

Christmas memories of happy years gone by
They come back to me and keep me warm inside
Still those memories make me cry

Now the stockings are filled, the oldhouse is still
And the kids are dreamin' away
There's that old easy chair, me and Daddy sat there
Waiting for Santa's sleigh
Now Daddy's gone, but we'll carry on
'Cause the little ones still need

Christmas memories of happy years gone by
They come back to me and keep me warm inside
Still those Christmas memories
Oh, they mean so much to me
Woh, those Christmas memories make me cry

It's Happened To Me
Composer(s): Les Chadwick; Gerry Marsden
Performer(s): Gerry & The Pacemakers



People tell you that you can't find love 
Or you'll never find your turtle dove 
Don't believe a word of what they say 
'Cause when I met you, my love 
I knew, I knew it had happened to me 
It's happened to me 

You can tell by the way I walk 
Or even tell it when I talk 
& I'm so proud it's plain to see 
'Cause when I met you, my love 
I knew, I knew it had happened to me 
It's happened to me 

I don't mind telling everyone 
I'm proud to say you're my only one 

(x2): 
So if they you that you can't find love 
Or you'll never find your turtle dove 
Don't believe a word of what they say 
'Cause when I met you, my love 
I knew, I knew it had happened to me 
It's happened to me 
It's happened to me 

Christmas Man Blues
Composer(s): Rev. Thomas A. Dorsey
Performer(s): Bertha "Chippie" Hill



Won't somebody have mercy on poor me?
Won't somebody have mercy on poor me?
I ain't got nobody to trim my Christmas tree

Santa Claus is comin', my stockings hangin' on the wall
Santa Claus is comin', my stockings hangin' on the wall
If you can't bring me a man, don't bring nothing at all

Santa oh Santa, bring me a full-grown man
Santa oh Santa, bring me a full-grown man
If you ain't got a good one, Santa do the best you can

You find me weepin', everybody hear the news
You find me weepin', everybody hear the news
Bring me a man to cure these Christmas blues