I've Never Seen Anything Like It
Composer(s): Leslie Bricusse
Performer(s): Sammy Davis Jr.; Frank Chacksfield



Blossom:
I Mean, I've Seen The World! 
I've Been Around 
I Could Tell You Stories 
That Would Quite Astound You! 

I'm Not A Fool!
I Went To School! 
I've Been From Liverpool To Istanbul!
Istanbul!
I'm No Fool! 
And Anyone Will Tell You 
That I'm Sharper Than A Knife!
But I've Never Seen Anything Like It 
In My Life! 

Dolittle:
It's a pushmi-pullyu! 

Blossom:
Is it? 

Well, I've Never Seen Anything Like It! 
I've Never Seen Anything Like It! 
I've Never Seen Anything Like It 
In My Life! 

Matthew:
It's the rarest animal on earth! 

Blossom: 
It certainly is! Hey! Come back! Just a minute! Listen! 

I Mean
I Know The Game
I've Seen 'Em All! 
I Could Tell You Stories 
That Would Quite Entrall You! 

I Know Me Job!  
Pleasin' The Mob! 
I Give 'Em What They Want For Just Two Bob! 
Just Two Bob! 
Well, That's My Job! 

But This Is So Fantastic
I Can't Wait To Tell The Wife! 
Gertie, You've Never Seen Anything Like It 
In Your Life! 

Come an' look at this! 

Dolittle: 
It's a bicranium, Madam! 

Blossom:
Arthur!...Vladmir!...Mavis!...Get out 'ere! All of you! Look at this! 

I Thought I'd Seen Every Wonder In The World! 
I've Seen The Coliseum In Rome 
And The Acropolis! 
I Made The Biggest Blunder In The World! 
Because I've Never Seen Anything Quite Like This! 

I'm Down To Earth! 
I'll Tell You Straight! 
I Could Tell You Stories 
That Would Fascinate You! 
I Know The Trade! 
I Know The Tricks! 
I Once Bought An Elephant For Two Pounds Six! 
Two Pounds Six! 
Taught It Tricks! 

But For Your Pushmi-Pullyu
I'd Pay... 

Three Pounds!...... 

Four Pounds!...... 

Five! 

Cos I've Never Seen Anything Like It 
That's Alive! 

An' I'll tell you what! - I'll even pay cash!........Cash, d'you hear? 

Dolittle:
I'm afraid five pounds wasn't exactly what I had in mind...... 
You see, Mr Blossom...... 

Blossom: 
Call me Albert

Dolittle:
Albert, you see... 

Pushmi-Pulyus Are Remarkable Creatures
Of All God's Animals, They're The Cleverest! 
They Develop These Remarkable Features 
Running Up And Down Mount Everest! 

Everybody: 
No! 

Dolittle: 
Yes! It's Absolutely True! 
Running Up And Down Mount Everest! 

You See...... 

Running Up And Down A Mountain 
Gives Them Very Nimble Feet 

Blossom: 
Put 'Em On The Right Rope
They Could Walk A Tightrope! 
That'd Give The Audience A Rare Old Treat! 

Dolittle:
And This Extreme Agility 
Begets A Rare Ability  
Shared Only With The Mountain Goats Of France 
The Pushmi-Pullyu Loves To Dance! 

Blossom:
I Mean
What Can You Say? 
What Can You Do? 
I Knew Right Away 
That Folks'll Pay To View It! 

I Said To Ted 
"Ted, Lad", I Said 
"This Thing's The Biggest Thing 
Since Home-Made Bread!" 

Company:
Home-Made Bread! 

Blossom:
"To Get That Pushmi-Pullyu, 
I'm Prepared To Sell The Wife!" 

Only jokin', Gertie! 

Company: 
Cos He's Never Seen Anything Like It 
In His Life! 

Blossom & Company: 
No, I've Never Seen Anything Like It!
Never Seen Anything Like It!
I've Never Seen Anything Like It 
In All My Life! 

Step This Way, Ladies And Gentlemen! Step This Way! 
Blossom's Mammoth Circus Proudly Presents 
The Greatest Single Attraction In Circus History! 
Direct From Mount Everest, The One-The Only
The Phenomenal Two-Headed Perfoming Pushmi-Pullyu! 

It Lives - It Breathes-It Moves - It Dances! 
While Goin' In Two Different Directions At Once! 
An Albert Blossom World Exclusive - Starts 
Today! - 4 Shows A Day An' 4 On Saturdays! 

The Two-Headed Marvel Of The Age 
Albert Blossom's Amazin' Pushmi-Pullyu! 
A 2-Headed Treat For All The Family! 
Bring The Kids, An' Granny An' Granddad! 
First Show Startin' In 2 Minutes! 

Company:
I Mean
We've Seen Some Shows 
Lord, Heaven Knows! 
We've Seen Every Single Thing 
From This To Ringling! 

Big Shows 'N' Small 
We've Seen 'Em All!  
Even Seen Performers 
Who Were Ten Feet Tall! 
Ten Feet Tall! 

And Of Them All
We'd Like To Make It Very, Very Clear 
That We've Never Seen Anything 
Like What We've Seen Here! 

No, We've Never Seen Anything Like It! 
Never Seen Anything Like It! 
We've Never Seen Anything Like It 
In All Our Life! 

We've Never Seen Anything Like It! 
We've Never Seen Anything Like It!  
We've Never Seen Anything Like It!  
In All Our Life! 

Dolittle: 
Call me John

Happy Holiday/The Holiday Season 
Composer(s): Irving Berlin; Kay Thompson
Performer(s): Bing Crosby & Martha Mears
and multiple other artists



Happy Holiday
Happy Holiday
While the merry bells keep ringing
May your every wish come true

Happy Holiday
Happy Holiday
May the calendar keep bringing
Happy Holidays to you

It's the holiday season
And Santa Claus is coming back
The Christmas snow is white on the ground
When old Santa gets into town
He'll be coming down the chimney, down
Coming down the chimney, down

It's the holiday season 
And Santa Claus has got a toy
For every good girl and good little boy
He's a great big bundle of joy
He'll be coming down the chimney, down
Coming down the chimney, down

He'll have a big fat pack upon his back
And lots of goodies for you and me
So leave a peppermint stick for old St. Nick
Hanging on the Christmas tree

It's the holiday season
With the whoop-de-do and hickory dock
And don't forget to hang up your sock
'Cause just exactly at 12 o'clock
He'll be coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney, down!

Happy Holiday 
Happy Holiday
While the merry bells keep bringing
Happy Holidays to you

Happy Holiday 
Happy Holiday
May the calendar keep bringing
Happy Holidays to you
To you 
Happy Holiday
Happy Holiday
Happy Holiday.......

I've Never Seen A Straight Banana 
Composer(s): Ted Waite 
Performer(s): The Happiness Boys
and multiple other artists



You may have seen some funny things in your time
But there's one thing you've not seen, I'd like to bet
Would you like to know just what you have been missing?
I'll tell you in the chorus but not yet
Now I've got you puzzled
So I'll tell you what I mean
The thing that's in my mind 
I must confess, I haven't seen

I have never, never, never, never
I've never seen a straight banana
I guess I must admit
That I have searched quite a bit 
They're even curved when they are served in my banana split
I have seen them by the car-load on the Delaware & Lacawana
But have you ever? No, I've never
I've never seen a straight banana

I recall when I was in Alaska
I saw the sun at twelve-o'clock at night
I've seen the waterfalls at old Niagara
I can vouch it is a most impressive sight
But I'd like to see one certain thing
But if it's not to be
I'd like to meet somebody else
Who saw what I can't see

I've never, never, never, never seen a straight banana
Although the things I hate
Hundreds I have ate
But I've never yet seen one banana that was straight
I have traveled far to find one
I've been to Chili and Havana
But I've never, never, never 
I've never seen a straight banana

I've never, never, never, never seen a straight banana
Once I chanced to see a real life murder mystery
The jury found the prisoner guilty in the first degree
All at once we heard the prisoner holler out
"This is the truth, your honor
I've never, never never, never
Never, never, never, never
I've never seen a straight banana

Happy Christmas To You From Me
Composer(s): Lynsey De Paul; Barry Blue
Performer(s): Lynsey De Paul & Barry Blue



If we are the music 
and we are the words
Well why don't we use it
To give to the world....

Peace and happiness and harmony
Happy Christmas to you from me

We'd get all the children 
to sing a long
You know we could use them
To give this song....

Peace and happiness and harmony
Happy Christmas to you from me

Well we could do with a little love and understanding
and maybe a few prayers will help us too
and maybe in time we could all of us join a hand in
to make this Christmas dream come true

Why are we living?
What is it for?
If not for giving
We need some more....

Peace and happiness and harmony
Happy Christmas to you from me

Papa doobe doobedoo, papa doobedoobedoo

Peace and happiness and harmony
Happy Christmas to you from me

Well if only we could look to one another
and maybe a little love will see us through
for really we're all of us one sister and brother
so let's make this Christmas dream come true

For we are the music 
and we are the words
So why don't we use it
To give to the world....

Peace and happiness and harmony
Happy Christmas to you from me

Peace and happiness and harmony
Happy Christmas to you from me

Papa doobe doobedoo, papa doobedoobedoo
Papa doobe doobedoo, papa doobedoobedoo

(Peace and happiness and harmony)
Happy Christmas to you from me

Happy Christmas (Happy Christmas)
Happy Christmas (Happy Christmas)
Happy Christmas (Happy Christmas)
Happy Christmas (Happy Christmas)
Happy Christmas (Happy Christmas)
Happy Christmas (Happy Christmas)

Happy Christmas (la la la la la... la la la la)

I've Never Found A Girl (To Love Me Like You Do)
Composer(s): Eddie Floyd; Alvertis Isbell; Booker T. Jones
Performer(s): Eddie Floyd
and multiple other artists



Ain`t no love, ain`t no love, like my baby`s love
It`s like burnin` fire, set off in my bones
Ain`t no lonely days, ain`t no lonely nights
Every little thing that she does
You know the girl`s alright
`cause i ain`t never, never, found me a girl

Love me like you do, to love me like you do

Ain`t no man, ain`t no man, go a little woman like me
You got all the lovin` baby, what a sweet girl can claim
You`re every poor boys dream, you`re every poor boys dream
More than you`re every rich mans friend
Woah but i`m gonna give you all my money honey
If you`ll stay right there
`cause i ain`t never, never, found me a girl
Love me like you do, to love me like you do

`cause i ain`t never, never, found me a girl
Love me like you do, to love me like you do

`cause i ain`t never, never, found me a girl
Love me like you do, to love me like you do

Happy Birthday Jesus (I'll Open This One For You)
(Traditional)
Performer(s): Reba McEntire



Now kids hang on just a second before we start
You know there's a reason we are all here 
in front of Grandma and Grandpa's Christmas tree
And if Trevor and E.P. would quit fighting long enough and be real quiet
This little song might help ya understand

Long ago in a stable there was a baby being born
His parents were Joseph and Mary
And Joseph's big ole heart was torn
Cause he couldn't find a decent place for Mary to have her child
But Mary said it just seemed just right and she blessed it with her smile

'Cause what made it special was the baby in her arms
God sent Him down to give the world a second chance for you and I
That's why we have Christmas at this time each year
It's the baby's birthday party that brings us so much cheer

Now kids the presents that all of you exchange on Christmas
Represents the gifts that baby Jesus received the night he was born
He got all his presents from three wise men
Who followed a star
And walked a long long way to the stable
So everytime you tear open one of your presents
Think about that baby and say
Happy birthday Jesus
I'll open this one for you

Cause what made it special was the baby in her arms
God sent Him down to give the world a second chance for you and I
That's why we have Christmas at this time each year
It's the baby's birthday party that brings us so much cheer

OK all together now
Happy Birthday Jesus
I'll open this one just for you

I've Never Been To Me
Composer(s): Ken Hirsh; Ron Miller
First release by: Charlene - 1976
Covered by multiple other artists



Hey lady, you lady, cursin' at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you never do
But I wish someone had'a talked to me like I wanna talk to you

Ooooh, I've been to Georgia and California
And anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
And we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies

Ooh, I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
And showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings
And I've seen some things
That a woman ain't s'pose to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Hey, you know what paradise is? It's a lie
A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is? It's that little baby you're holding
And it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I, I took the sweet life
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoreing
That cost too much to be free
Hey lady, I've been to paradise
But I've never been to meeeeeeeeeeeeee....
I've been to paradise, never been to me
Been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I've been to paradise, never been to me
Been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht
I've been to paradise ...

Hangin' 'Round The Mistletoe
Composer(s): Kostas
Performer(s): Alabama
and multiple other artists



Snowy days and frosty nights
Everything looks cold and white
Hangin' 'round the mistletoe
Hangin' 'round the mistletoe

Christmas day will soon be here
And everybody's full of cheer
Hangin' 'round the mistletoe
Waitin' for you, Dear

Well, I've waited all year long
And now the year is almost gone
Hangin' 'round the mistletoe
Hangin' 'round the mistletoe

But if that's what I've gotta do
Just to get a kiss from you
Hangin' 'round the mistletoe
Waitin' for you, Dear

Christmas is a special time
To give and to receive
For every little kiss you give me
Well, I will give you three

You ain't gonna miss one kiss
That's one thing you'll never miss
I'm hangin' 'round the mistletoe
Waitin' for you, Dear

Well, I've had my eyes on you
For a long, long time
So, I'm asking Santa please
Make that pretty girl mine

Waited till I'm cold and blue
Just to get a kiss from you
I'm hangin' 'round the mistletoe
Waitin' for you, Dear

Hangin' 'round the mistletoe
Waitin' for you dear

I've Never Been In Love Before
Composer(s): Frank Loesser
First performance by: Robert Alda & Isabel Bigley - 1950
Covered by multiple other artists



I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
it's you forever more...

I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score

But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
and now my song must pour
so please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been in love before

But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
and now my song must pour
so please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been in love before

Hang Up The Baby's Stocking
Composer(s): Emily Huntington Miller; Hiram Murray Higgins



Hang up the baby's stocking
Be sure you don't forget!
The dear little dimpled darling
She never saw Christmas yet!
But I've told her all about it
And she opened her big blue eyes
And I'm sure she understood it
She looked so funny and wise

Dear, what a tiny stocking!
It doesn't take much to hold
Such little pink toe's as baby's
Away from the frost and the cold
But then, for the baby's Christmas
It will never do at all
Why! Santa wouldn't be looking
For anything half so small

I know what I will do for the baby
I've thought of the very best plan
I'll borrow a stocking of Grandma's
The longest that ever I can
And you'll hang it by mine, dear mother
Right here in the corner so!
And leave a letter to Santa
And fasten it in the toe

Write-this is the baby's stocking
That hangs in the corner here
You never have seen her, Santa
For she only came this year
But she's just the blessed'st baby
And now before you go
Just cram her stocking with goodies
From the top clean down to the toe!

I've Loved You All Over The World
Composer(s): Glen Johnson
Performer(s): Hank Williams Jr. 



(I've loved you all over the world)

I've loved you all over the world in every place I've been you were with me and then
There never was anyone but you sweet girl I've loved you all over the world

You still share my pillow each night pressed so close to me sharing each memory
You still keep my mind in the world sweet girl I've loved you all over the world

Carolina Virginia California to Maine from New York to Texas the feeling remains
City sidewalks and each country road sweet girl I've loved you all over the world

(I've loved you all over the world)

Carolina Virginia California to Maine...
I've loved you all over the world sweet girl

Hamburger Concerto: Well Done
Composer(s): Thijs Van Leer
Performer(s): Focus



O kerstnacht, schoner dan de dagen
Hoe kan Herodes het licht verdragen
Dat in uw duisternisse blinkt
En wordt gevierd en aangebeden
Zijn hoogmoed luistert naar geen reden
Hoe schel die in zijn oren klinkt
Hij tracht d'onozelen te vernielen
Door 't doden van onnozele zielen
En wekt een stad en landgeschrei
In Bethlehem en op de akker
En maakt de geest van Rachel wakker
Die waren gaat door beemd en hei

I've Loved These Days
Composer(s): Billy Joel
Performer(s): Billy Joel



Now we take our time, so nonchalant
And spend our nights so bon vivant
We dress our days in silken robes
The money comes
The money goes
We know it's all a passing phase
We light our lamps for atmosphere
And hang out hopes on chandeliers
We're going wrong, we're gaining weight
We're sleeping long and far too late
And so it's time to change our ways
But I've loved these days
Now as we indulge in things refined
We hide our hearts from harder times
A string of pearls, a foreign car
Oh we can only go so far
On caviar and cabernet
We drown our doubts in dry champagne
And soothe our souls with fine cocaine
I don't know why I even care
We get so high and get nowhere
We'll have to change our jaded ways
But I've loved these days
So before we end and then begin
We'll drink a toast to how it's been
A few more hours to be complete
A few more nights on satin sheets
A few more times that I can say
I've loved these days

Hail! Ever Hail



Hail! ever hail! auspicious morn
The brightest since our fall
Mortals, exult! the Saviour's born
O crown him Lord of all!

Down from celestial climes of day
He hastes to tread our ball
Glory illumines all the way
O crown him Lord of all!

Hark! loud hosannahs from the song
The melting airs inthrall
A Saviour angels waft along
And shout him Lord of all

Wrapt in their folded vests of light
They seek the sordid stall
Gaze with emotions of delight
And own him Lord of all

Shepherds, to you a herald flies
Obey the early call
Immanuel in a manger lies
Go crown him Lord of all

He comes, he comes, our world to bless
To ransom every soul
From shades of endless wretchedness
O crown him Lord of all!

The sceptre, robe, and throne prepare
Attend, ye great and small
With acclamations rend the air
And crown him Lord of all

As It Fell Out One May Morning

I've Got Tears In My Ears (From Lyin' On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You)
Performer(s): Harold Barlow



I've got tears in my ears from lyin' on my back
In my bed while I cry over you
And the tears in my ears, they're off the beaten track
Since you said "It's goodbye, we are through"
So if I should get water on the brain
You will know you're the one who is to blame
I've got tears in my ears from lyin' on my back
In my bed while I cry over you

I've got tears in my ears from lyin'on my back
In my bed while I cry over you
I've been cryin' these tears and soakin' in my sack
Since the day I found you were untrue
And if I don't get up pretty soon
I'll turn into a sleepy lagoon
I've got tears in my ears from lyin' on my back
In my bed while I cry over you

I've got tears in my ears from lyin' on my back
In my bed while I cry over you
It's been so many years, my sacroiliac
Feels as though it's been soaked through and through
Oh, you lied when you said we'd take the plunge
Now I know how it feels to be a sponge
I've got tears in my ears from lyin' on my back
In my bed while I cry over you

Guten Abend, Gut' Nacht
((English & French Versions: Lullaby Of Love (Nana Mouskouri; Parle-Moi (Nana Mouskouri))
Composer(s): Johannes Brahms
Performer(s): Nana Mouskouri



Guten Abend, gut' Nacht
Mit Rosen bedacht
Mit Näglein besteckt
Schlüpf unter die Deck'
Morgen früh, wenn Gott will
Wirst du wieder geweckt
Morgen früh, wenn Gott will
Wirst du wieder geweckt

Guten Abend, gut' Nacht
Von Englein bewacht
Die zeigen im Traum
Dir Christkindleins Baum
Schlaf nun selig und süß
Schau im Traum 's Paradies
Schlaf nun selig und süß
Schau im Traum 's Paradies

Guten Abend, gut' Nacht
Mit Rosen bedacht
Mit Näglein besteckt
Schlüpf unter die Deck'
Morgen früh, wenn Gott will
Wirst du wieder geweckt
Morgen früh, wenn Gott will
Wirst du wieder geweckt

I've Got So Much To Give
Composer(s): Barry White
Performer(s): Barry White; Walter Chancellor Jr.



Don't do that
Baby, please don't do that
What are you crying for
Is it because you're sad or mad or
Nothing's gonna go wrong
Sometimes we feel inside of us that
That everything we have is only here for today
But every now and then two people get lucky
And find that certain thing that make them want to
Just keep it, just keep it that way
I don't want you to feel that
That you have to go through these changes when
Knowing no way
I know that our love is different
Our lives will be different
Trust me, baby, trust me

Now that I'm here no more tears
Come here, come here
And you won't find things that broke your heart
And blew your mind
Not here, no, not here

And my, oh, my
Girl, can't you see, can't you see that I
I've got so much to give to you, my dear
It's gonna take a lifetime, it's gonna take years

To you my dear I've got so much to give
It's gonna take my lifetime
It's gonna take years and years and years and years

And I'll fill you in your hopes and dreams
Believe me, girl, you got everything
Right here, right here
No one could offer you more
Than the love I have for you in store
It's here, oh, oh, yeah

And my, oh, my
Honey, can't you see, can't you see that I
I got so much to give to you my dear
It's gonna take a lifetime, it's gonna take years

To you my dear I've got so much to give
It's gonna take my lifetime
It's gonna take years and years and years and years

Believe me, baby
We found that certain thing
That certain feeling
That lets two people express themselves how they feel
Let your love flow inside of you
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, baby

Grown-Up Christmas List
Composer(s): David Foster; Linda Thompson-Jenner
Performer(s): Amy Grant
and multiple other artists



Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies
Well, I'm all grown up now
But still need help somehow
I'm not a chile but my heart still can dream
So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up christmas list
Not for myself, but for a world in need
No more lives torn apart
And wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Ev'ry one would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up christmas list...
As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely wrapped beneash the tree
Well, heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal a hurting human soul
No more lives torn apart
And wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Ev'ry one would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up christmas list...
What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth!
There'd be...
No more lives torn apart
And wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Ev'ry one would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up christmas list
This is my only lifelong wish
This is my Grown-up Christmas List!

I've Got Sand In My Shoes
Composer(s): Arthur Resnick; Kenny Young
Performer(s): The Drifters; Greyhound



Oh, the boardwalk's deserted 
There's nobody down by the sho-o-o-o-ore 
And the ferris wheel ride isn't turning around any m-o-ore-ore-ore 
The heat wave and the crowds are just old new-ooh-ews 
But I've still got some sand in my shoes 

(Sand in my shoes) 
Brings mem'ries of the salty air 
(Sand in my shoes) 
Whoa-uh-oh-oh the blanket that we used to share 
How we fell in love down by the sea-ee 
Come back to me (back to me, back to me) with the sand in my shoes 

Whoa, oh 
When the water was cold 
You would tremble and hold me so ti-i-i-i-ight 
And we'd sit on the beach just to wait for the stars to come out at
night 
The heat wave and the crowds are just old new-ooh-ews 
But I've still got some sand in my shoes 

(Sand in my shoes) 
Oh, brings mem'ries of the salty air 
(Sand in my shoes) 
Whoa-oh-uh-oh the blanket that we used to share 
How we fell in love down by the sea-ee 
Come back to me (back to me, back to me) with the sand in my shoes 

(Sand in my shoes) 
Whoa-uh-oh-oh 
(Sand in my shoes) 
Whoa, la, la, la, la, uh-whoa 
(Sand in my shoes)

Whoa-uh-oh-oh

Grandpa Got Run Over By A Beer Truck 
Composer(s): Lynn Coffey; Jim DeCaire; Joe Potila
Performer(s): Da Yoopers



Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of woody's christmas day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way

Grandpa was out drinking with the floozies
Spending all of grandma's hard earned dough
He didn't have enough to pay the bar tab
So woody tossed him out into the snow

Grandpa stood there frozen in the head lights
He looked just as helpless as a deer
I don't think he was afraid of dying
I think he was afraid he'd spill his beer

Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of woody's christmas day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way

Who'd have thought he'd end up as a road kill
She flattened him right out on the center line
He could have made it to the curb if he were quicker
But she backed it up and squashed him one more time

Grandma cried and cried at grandma's funeral
Not because we peeled him off the road
All the loot she got from his insurance
Went to pay the bar tab that he owed

Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of woody's christmas day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way