We, Your Dearest Friends
Composer(s): Carly Simon
Performer(s): Carly Simon



We, your dearest friends
Are having dinner without you 
We're witty and we use it to be vicious 
In just another minute 
We'll be laughing about you 
To the untrained eye
It wouldn't look suspicious 

We, your dearest friends 
Don't really care if you have needs 
Your hopes and dreams 
Are trivial by our standards 
We make fun of how you sing 
And then we imitate your speech 
And the stupid things 
You say we like to slander 

But we won't reel you out too far 
'Cause after all, we need you for 
Our ongoing quest 

We've bonded here in faithlessness 
To undermine your happiness 
Toying with your paranoia 
Everything you do annoys us 
It annoys us 

We remember how 
You bought us all those gifts 
You liked to make us think 
You were so generous 
Be careful in the future 
Of everything you say and do 
`Cause it can and will be used 
Against you by us 

We your dearest friends 
Judge you "guilty" 
Here and now 
Of thinking you're a star 
When it's all over 
Nobody wants you
And we the least of all 
It's been a long time since 
You had those famous lovers 

But we won't reel you out too far 
`Cause after all, we need you for 
Our ongoing quest 

We've bonded here 
In faithlessness 
To undermine your happiness 
Toying with your paranoia 
Everything you do annoys us
(it annoys the hell out of us) 

It's not the straw 
No, it's the final straw you'll say 
Finally you've grown a sturdy backbone 
There'll be no invitation to 
Your rocky coast this year 
Your queenly voice will 
Ice us down the telephone 

You'll never guess who's joining us 
For brandy later on 
That's right, it's your bête noir from hell
That's who 
Are you worried we might spill the beans 
Are you worried we might tell 
About your little visit to the bin when 
You were cuckoo? 

But we won't reel you out too far 
`Cause after all, we need you for 
Our ongoing quest 

We've bonded here in faithlessness 
To undermine your happiness 
Toying with your paranoia 
Everything you do annoys us
It annoys us 

Toying with your paranoia 

You have an unforgiveable personality 
Unforgettable, yes 
We were so happy once in the Garden of 
The Finzi-Continis 
Oh, yes we were 
Never more, never more 
Here comes the waiter
We'll just put it on your house charge 
You'll never know the difference 
Never notice