Ahab, The Arab
Composer(s): Ray Stevens
Performer(s): Ray Stevens;; Kinky Friedman; Phil Vassar



Let me tell you about Ahab, The Arab
The sheik of the burning sands!
He had emeralds and rubies just a-drippin' off 'a him
And a ring on every finger of his hand!
He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evenin', about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde...

And ride, silently through the night to the sultan's tent
Where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of The Seven Veils
The swingingest number one choice dancer 
In The Sultan's whole harem!
'Cause, like him and her had a thing goin', you know
And they'd been carryin' on for some time now behind The Sultan's back!
And you could hear him talk to his camel 
As he rode out across the dunes
His voice would cut through the still night desert air,
And he'd say... (imitate Arabic speech)
Which is Arabic for, "Whoa, babies!" 
And Clyde'd say... (imitate camel braying)

Well, he brought his camel to a screechin' halt (imitate screech)
In the rear of Fatima's tent
Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner
And into the tent he went
There he saw Fatima layin' on a zebra skin rug
With rings on her fingers
And bells on her toes and a bone in her nose, ho ho!

There she was, friends and neighbors, layin' there in all her radiant beauty
Eating on a raisin, and a grape, and an apricot, and a pomegranate
A bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars
And sipping on an R-O-C-coke-cola, listenin' to her transistor
Watchin' The Grand Ole Opry
And readin' Mad Magazine while she sung "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor?"!
And Ahab walked up to her and he say (imitate Arabic speech)
Which is Arabic for, "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby!"
And she say, "ha ha ha...crazy, baby!"

('Round and around and around and around
And around and around and around!)

All of a sudden, The Sultan walked in!!
Ahab knew that this was the end!!
Him and Fatima was caught by surprise
And the sultan had fire flashin' out of his eyes!!

Well, The Sultan charged at Ahab
Intending to make a dent
In his head, but he fled with Fatima
And out of the tent they went!
They jumped on Clyde and started to ride
Cuttin' out across the sand!
With The Sultan's whole army in a hot pursuit
On and on they ran!

Well, to make a long story short
They got away, 'cause there weren't no animal alive
What could keep up with Clyde once he got started
'Cause he was the swiftest steed on the whole desert babies!
And they made it across the border 
Where he half-hocked all his rubies and emeralds
And he bought 'em a swanky little split-level pad
And lived happi'y ever after!

Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab, The Arab
The sheik of the burnin' sands!
Ahab The Arab, the swingin' sheik of the burnin' sands! ...