Ahab, The Arab
Composer(s): Ray Stevens
Performer(s): Ray Stevens;; Kinky Friedman; Phil Vassar



Let me tell you about Ahab, The Arab
The sheik of the burning sands!
He had emeralds and rubies just a-drippin' off 'a him
And a ring on every finger of his hand!
He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evenin', about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde...

And ride, silently through the night to the sultan's tent
Where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of The Seven Veils
The swingingest number one choice dancer 
In The Sultan's whole harem!
'Cause, like him and her had a thing goin', you know
And they'd been carryin' on for some time now behind The Sultan's back!
And you could hear him talk to his camel 
As he rode out across the dunes
His voice would cut through the still night desert air,
And he'd say... (imitate Arabic speech)
Which is Arabic for, "Whoa, babies!" 
And Clyde'd say... (imitate camel braying)

Well, he brought his camel to a screechin' halt (imitate screech)
In the rear of Fatima's tent
Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner
And into the tent he went
There he saw Fatima layin' on a zebra skin rug
With rings on her fingers
And bells on her toes and a bone in her nose, ho ho!

There she was, friends and neighbors, layin' there in all her radiant beauty
Eating on a raisin, and a grape, and an apricot, and a pomegranate
A bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars
And sipping on an R-O-C-coke-cola, listenin' to her transistor
Watchin' The Grand Ole Opry
And readin' Mad Magazine while she sung "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor?"!
And Ahab walked up to her and he say (imitate Arabic speech)
Which is Arabic for, "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby!"
And she say, "ha ha ha...crazy, baby!"

('Round and around and around and around
And around and around and around!)

All of a sudden, The Sultan walked in!!
Ahab knew that this was the end!!
Him and Fatima was caught by surprise
And the sultan had fire flashin' out of his eyes!!

Well, The Sultan charged at Ahab
Intending to make a dent
In his head, but he fled with Fatima
And out of the tent they went!
They jumped on Clyde and started to ride
Cuttin' out across the sand!
With The Sultan's whole army in a hot pursuit
On and on they ran!

Well, to make a long story short
They got away, 'cause there weren't no animal alive
What could keep up with Clyde once he got started
'Cause he was the swiftest steed on the whole desert babies!
And they made it across the border 
Where he half-hocked all his rubies and emeralds
And he bought 'em a swanky little split-level pad
And lived happi'y ever after!

Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab, The Arab
The sheik of the burnin' sands!
Ahab The Arab, the swingin' sheik of the burnin' sands! ...

When I Grow Up (To Be A Man)
Composer(s): Mike Love; Brian Wilson
Performer(s): The Beach Boys;
Sean Macreavy; R. Stevie Moore



When I grow up to be a man 
Will I dig the same things that turn me on as a kid? 
Will I look back and say that I wish I hadn't done what I did? 
Will I joke around and still dig those sounds 
When I grow up to be a man? 

Will I look for the same things in a woman that I dig in a girl? (fourteen fifteen) 
Will I settle down fast or will I first wanna travel the world? (sixteen seventeen) 
Now I'm young and free, but how will it be 
When I grow up to be a man? 

Oooooo Ooooooo Oooooooo 
Will my kids be proud or think their old man is really a square? (eighteen nineteen) 
When they're out having fun yeah, will I still wanna have my share? (twenty twenty-one) 
Will I love my wife for the rest of my life 
When I grow up to be a man? 

What will I be when I grow up to be a man? 
(twenty-two twenty-three) 
Won't last forever 
(twenty-four twenty-five) 
It's kind of sad 
(twenty-six twenty-seven) 
Won't last forever 
(twenty-eight twenty-nine) 
It's kind of sad 
(thirty thirty-one) 
Won't last forever 
(thirty-two . . .) 

Ah, Pretty Girl
Composer(s): Eddie Cochran - Jerry Capehart
Performer(s): Eddie Cochran



(Ah, pretty girl - ah, pretty girl)
Just you and me, pretty girl
No one's gonna see, pretty girl
Well I feel so good when you hold me tight
So let's make love till the broad daylight
'Cause I love you, mmm, pretty girl
Don't you be so tame, pretty girl
You drive me insane, pretty girl
Everytime your lips meet mine
A funny chill runs up my spine
'Cause I love you, mmm, pretty girl
Come on let me hold you, let me squeeze you tight
Let my arms unfold you, you're mine tonight
Just you and me, pretty girl
No one's gonna see, pretty girl
Well I feel so good when you hold me tight
So let's make love till the broad daylight
'Cause I love you, men, pretty girl

When I Grow Too Old To Dream
Composer(s): Sigmund Romberg; Oscar Hammerstein II
Performer(s): Linda Ronstadt; 
and various other artists



We have been gay, going our way
Life has been beautiful, we have been young
After you've gone, life will go on
Like an old song we have sung

When I grow too old to dream
I'll have you to remember
When I grow too old to dream
Your love will live in my heart
So, kiss me my sweet
And so let us part
And when I grow too old to dream
That kiss will live in my heart
And when I grow too old to dream
That kiss will live in my heart

So, kiss me my sweet
And so let us part
And when I grow too old to dream
That kiss will live in my heart 

Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah
Composer(s): Johnny Burke - Kenneth M. Burke
Performer(s): Jean Carn & the Jones Girls



Is this the right time
For lovin'
Can't make up my mind
If I want it
So I'll tell him no

Ah, ah, ah, ah (You won't get me that easy)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (`Cause you've got to show)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (That you're my one and only)
Ah, ah, ah, ah

You always say that
That you need me
But I need someone to care forever
Not one evening
`Cause I've been hurt before

Ah, ah, ah, ah (Don't need a one night lover)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (`Cause I always end)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I end up brokenhearted)
Ah, ah, ah, ah

Oh, oh
Oh, oh

I wanna tell him
How I feel inside
But I'm much too shy to see
I wanna love him
But will he keep me satisfied, oh, ho

Is this the right time
For lovin'
Can't make up my mind
If I want it
So I'll tell him no

Ah, ah, ah, ah (You won't get me that easy)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (`Cause you've got to show)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (That you're my one and only)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I've got to say no)

Ah, ah, ah, ah (Don't need a one night lover)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (`Cause I always end)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I end up brokenhearted)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I've got to say no)

Can't give it up
Can't give it up, yeah (Can't give it up, no)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I've got to say no)

Can't give it up (No)
Can't give it up, yeah (Can't give it up, no)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I've got to say no)

Can't give it up (No)
Can't give it up, yeah (I can't give it up)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (Oh, ho)

Ah, ah, ah, ah (You won't get me that easy)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (`Cause you've got to show)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (That you're my one and only)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I can't give it up)

Can't give it up (No, no, no)
Can't give it up, yeah (I can't give it up, no)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I can't give it up)

Can't give it up
Can't give it up, yeah (I can't give it up)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I've got to say no)

Ah, ah, ah, ah (Don't need a one night lover)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (`Cause I always end)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I end up brokenhearted)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I've got to say no)

Can't give it up
Can't give it up, yeah (Can't give it up, no)
Ah, ah, ah, ah (I've got to say no)

Can't give it up (No, no)
Can't give it up, yeah (I can't give it up)
Ah, ah, ah, ah

When I Get You Alone Tonight
Performer(s): Elisabeth Welch



When I get you alone tonight
When I get you alone tonight
We’ll sit by the window without a shade
Oh, oh, oh, oh, don’t be afraid
There’ll be no one around to hear
There’ll be no one around to hear
We will keep the organ playing 
So the folks will think we’ll praying
When I get you alone tonight

When I get you alone tonight
When I get you alone tonight
We’ll sit by the window without a shade
Oh, oh, oh, oh, don’t be afraid
There’ll be no one around to hear
There’ll be no one around to hear
We will keep the organ playing 
So the folks will think we’ll praying

When I get you alone, my baby
Get you alone tonight, oh yeah 

Ah! Will I tell you, Mommy
((aka Little Star (by The Elegants) - 1958; Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star (by Steeleye Span) - 1974))
((Adapted from: Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman (by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart) - 1740))
(Traditional)



Ah! Will I tell you, Mommy
What is tormenting me?
Daddy wants me to reason
Like a grown up person
Me, I say that sweets
Are worth more than reason

When I Get Home
Composer(s): Bobby Darin; Russell Alquist
Performer(s): The Searchers



There's gonna be good times baby, just wait and see
Music and parties and laughter like it used to be
'Cause I'm comin' back to make us a life of our own
When I get home, when I get home baby

Five thousand miles from you baby is far I know
But just remember this baby wherever you go
I'm gonna love you, never leave you alone
When I get home, when I get home baby

When I get home
You're gonna wake up and find there's a new kind of dawn
Baby, when I get home
I'm gonna make up for all the time I've been gone
Baby, baby, if you love me

You'll hang on a little bit longer and we'll see it through
There ain't no nothin' can stop me from reaching you
And I'm gonna give you a love like you've never known
When I get home, when I get home baby
When I get home baby
When I get home baby
When I get home 

Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman
((English Versions: 
Ah! Will I Tell You Mommy; Little Star (by The Elegants) - 1958; Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star (by Steeleye Span) - 1974))
(Traditional)
Performer(s): Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - 1740



Ce qui cause mon tourment?
Papa veut que je raisonne
Comme une grande personne
Moi, je dis que les bonbons
Valent mieux que la raison

When I Fall In Love
Composer(s): Edward Heyman; Victor Young
Performer(s): Doris Day;
and various other artists



Maybe I'm old fashioned, feeling as I do
Maybe I am living in the past
But when I meet the right one
I know that I'll be true
My first love will be the last

When I fall in love it will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it began
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart it will be completely
Or I'll never, never, never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I give my heart to you

And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I give my heart to you 

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star ((aka Ah! Will I Tell You Mommy; Little Star (by The Elegants) - 1958))
((Adapted from: Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman (by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart) - 1740))
Composer(s): André Campra - Jean-Philippe Rameau - Jane Taylor
Performer(s): Steeleye Span - 1974



Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are!

When the blazing sun is gone
When he nothing shines upon
Then you show your little light
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are!

Then the traveler in the dark
Thanks you for your tiny spark
He could not see which way to go
If you did not twinkle so
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are!

When I Dream Of Old Erin (I'm Dreaming Of You)
Composer(s): Marvin Lee; Leo Friedman



When the nightingale's singing its sweet melodies
And the scent of the flowers perfumes the night breeze
Then I dream of my old home far over the sea
By the Lake of Kilarney
Where I long to be
And I see you, it seems, waiting there on the shore
Where together we stray'd in the sweet days of yore 
I am thinking, tonight, of my Colleen so true
When I dream of Old Erin, I'm dreaming of you

I can see the old cottage, just o'er the hill there
'Tis those fond recollections bring happiness rare 
Sure the lassie I love with a heart that is true
She is waiting for someone
While someone waits too
And my love's growing stronger each day, more and more
'Tis the same old love story that's told o'er and o'er 
So, -cush-la my Colleen, it seems that you knew
When I dream of Old Erin, I'm dreaming of you

When I dream of old Erin I'm dreaming of you 
With your sweet, roguish smile and your true eyes of blue
For my love, like the Shamrock, each day stronger grew
When I dream of Old Erin, I'm dreaming of you 

Little Star ((aka Ah! Will I Tell You Mommy; Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star (by Steeleye Span) - 1974))
((Adapted from: Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman (by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart) - 1740))
Composer(s): André Campra - Jean-Philippe Rameau - Vito Picone - Arthur Venosa
Performer(s): The Elegants - 1958
and multiple other artists



Where are you little star?
(Where are you?)

Whoah oh, oh, oh-uh-oh
Ratta ta ta too-ooh-ooh
Whoah oh, oh, oh-uh-oh
Ratta ta ta too-ooh-ooh

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
Wish I may, wish I might
Make this wish come true tonight
Searched all over for a love
You're the one I'm thinkin' of

Whoah oh, oh, oh-uh-oh
Ratta ta ta too-ooh-ooh
Whoah oh, oh, oh-uh-oh
Ratta ta ta too-ooh-ooh

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
High above the clouds somewhere
Send me down a love to share

Whoah oh, oh, oh-uh-oh
Ratta ta ta too-ooh-ooh
Whoah oh, oh, oh-uh-oh
Ratta ta ta too-ooh-ooh

Whoa-uh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh there you a-a-re
High ab-o-ove
Oh-oh sta-a-ar
Send me a lo-o-o-o-ove
Oh there you a-a-re
Li-i-ighting u-up the sky
I need a lo-o-o-ove
Oh me-oh, me-oh, my-y-y-y

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
Wish I may, wish I might
Make this wish come true tonight

Whoah oh, oh, oh-uh-oh
Ratta ta ta too-ooh-ooh
Whoah oh, oh, oh-uh-oh
Ratta ta ta too-ooh-ooh

Oh ra, ta, ta
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
There you are little star!!! (ooh) 

When I Dream
German Title: Wenn Ich Träum
Composer(s): Sandy Mason-Theoret
Performer(s): Crystal Gayle;
and various other artists



I could have a mansion that is higher than the trees
I could have all the gifts I want and never ask please
I could fly to Paris, oh, it's at my beck and call
Why do I go through life with nothing at all?

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

I can be the singer or the clown in every room
I can even call someone to take me to the moon
I can put my makeup on and drive the men insane
I can go to bed alone and never know his name

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true 

Ah! Sweet Mystery Of Life
Composer(s): Victor Herbert - Rida Johnson Young
Performer(s): Mario Lanza
and multiple other artists



Ah! Sweet mystery of life
At last I've found thee
Ah! I know at last the secret of it all
All the longing, seeking, striving, waiting, yearning
The burning hopes, the joy and idle tears that fall!
For 'tis love, and love alone, the world is seeking
And 'tis love, and love alone, that can repay!
'Tis the answer, 'tis the end and all of living
For it is love alone that rules for aye!
Love, and love alone, the world is seeking
For 'tis love, and love alone, that can repay!
'Tis the answer, 'tis the end and all of living
For it is love alone that rules for aye!

When I Die
Composer(s): William Smith; Steve Kennedy
Performer(s): Motherlode



When I die, I hope to be a better man than you thought I´d be 
It´s been hard to make you see 
What kind of man I´m trying to be 
All I ask for you to try to understand 
what it means to me

It´s not hard to understand why 
You get discouraged all the time 
I keep trying not to worry 
But I can´t help feeling lost in you 
But I love you, want you and I need you

Time goes by and you´ll find that we´ll 
achieve a love sublime 
When I die I hope I´ll be the kind of man 
you thought I´d be 

(Repeat Chorus)

Cause I love you and I want you 
Cause I gotta, gotta have you 
Cause, cause I need you 
When I die, I hope I´ll be the kind of man 
that you thought I´d be 

Ah! Si Vous Connaissiez Ma Poule
Composer(s): Charles Borel-Clerc - René Touche - Albert Willemetz
Performer(s): Maurice Chevalier 
and multiple other artists



De Rochechouart jusqu'à Ménilmuche
De la rue de Lappe à la rue de la Gaité
Ya pas un seul même dans tout Pantruche
Qui avec la mienne pourrait lutter
De la tête aux pieds quand on l'épluche
On ne trouve rien à lui reprocher
C'est un oiseau rare
Que Roi des veinards
J'ai eu le bonheur de dénicher

Ah! si vous connaissiez ma poule
Vous en perdriez tous la boule
Ses petits seins pervers
Qui pointent au travers
De son pull-over
Vous mettent la tête à l'envers!
Elle a des jambes faites au moule
Des cheveux fous, frisés partout
Et tout et tout...
Si vous la voyiez
Vous en rêveriez!
Ah! si vous connaissiez ma poule

Bien qu'elle s'habille aux prix unique
Pas une ne saurait la dégotter
Elle dame le pion, elle fait la nique
Aux plus fameuses reines de beauté
La miss France et la miss Amérique
Sont de la crotte de bique à côté
Sans diam' et sans clips
Elle vous éclips'
Toutes les stars les plus réputées

Ah! si vous connaissiez ma poule
Vous en perdriez tous la boule
Marlène et Darrieux
N'arrivent qu'en deux
La Greta Garbo
Peut même retirer son chapeau!
Ils n'en n'ont pas à Liverpoole
À New-York, à Honolulu
De mieux foutu...
Si vous la voyiez
Vous en rêveriez!
Ah! si vous connaissiez ma poule

Marguerite de Bourgogne auprès d'elle
N'avait que nib comme tempérament
Il faut l'entendre quand elle appelle
Son petit Momo au grand moment
Son corps frissonne d'un façon telle
Que le maison tremble également
Et ça vous explique
Les secousses sismiques
Dont les journaux parlaient récemment

Ah! si vous connaissiez ma poule
Vous en perdriez tous la boule
Ses baisers moelleux
Font dresser les cheveux
Ses baisers profonds
Vous font sauter jusqu'au plafond!
Si vous saviez comme elle roucoule
On l'entend jusqu'au fond de Passy
Crier ... chéri!
Si vous la voyiez
Vous me la chiperiez!
Mais... vous ne connaîtrez pas ma poule

When I Come Home
Composer(s): Jackie Edwards; Steve Winwood
Performer(s): The Spencer Davis Group



I gave you my heart
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
Now you're tearing it apart

You wrote me a letter
You found someone better
Better than me
This I can't believe

When I come home
Tell me all about it
When I come home
Tell me all about it

I work all day
Earnin' my pay
Work all night
To make you feel all right

When I come home
Tell me all about it
When I come home
Tell me all about it
(Repeat)

Ah! Quelle Merveille
Composer(s): Bob Merril - Eddy Marnay
Performer(s): Dalida; Gloria Lasso



Oui mes amis c'est une merveille
Oui mes amis c'est une merveille
Dès que l'amour vient illuminer ce monde-là
Monde-là
Quand le printemps nous fait la vie belle
Moi dans mon cœur j'ai des étincelles
C'est le bonheur s'il nous appelle on y va
On y va

Dis-moi que tu m'aimes
Dis-moi que tu m'aimes
Dis-moi que tu m'aimes tant
Dis-moi que ce monde
Que ce monde est merveilleux
Merveilleux
Dis-moi que tu chantes
Dis-moi que tu danses
Dis-moi que tu es content

Tant que tu t'expliques
Avec mon cœur et le printemps

Oui mes amis c'est une merveille
Oui mes amis c'est une merveille
Dès qu'une fée vient se pencher sur ce monde-là
Monde-là
Au bout d'une baguette magique
Sur une symphonie fantastique
Elle vous met le cœur en musique
Mi, sol, fa, sol, mi, la

Dis-moi que tu m'aimes
Dis-moi que tu m'aimes
Dis-moi que tu m'aimes tant
Dis-moi que ce monde
Que ce monde est merveilleux
Merveilleux
Dis-moi que tu chantes
Dis-moi que tu danses
Dis-moi que tu es content
Tant que tu t'expliques
Avec mon cœur et le printemps

Oui mes amis c'est une merveille
Oui mes amis c'est une merveille
De traverser la main dans la main ce monde-là
Monde-là
Oui mes amis c'est une merveille
De voir un jour l'amour qui s'éveille
Aucune joie n'est jamais pareille
Croyez-moi, croyez-moi
Quand je vous dis que ce monde est merveilleux

When He's Gone
Composer(s): Barry Gibb; Maurice Gibb; Robin Gibb
Performer(s): Bee Gees



Stormy nights, I've been waiting
Satisfy you, oh yeah
But his love is just a game
And he's sellng you the same old lies

And I'm hangin' on the wire
And no closer to the fire
And you don't hear me when I cry

(Chorus)
You may need someone to lean upon
When he's gone, when he's gone
And what is left is a love so strong
When he's gone, when he's gone
You wouldn't believe to what extent
My mind is going to
You wouldn't deny me in your dreams
You couldn't belong to someone else
If you could see me now
And I'd be the only one
When he's gone

My understanding that you remember
For whom the bell tolls, oh yeah
I swear to you I pray
That you feel the battle rage
For the saving of my soul

And it's a struggle to survive
You know it's keepin' us alive
And baby I don't wanna die

(Chorus)
I will be someone you lean upon
When he's gone, when he's gone
And what is left is a love so strong
When he's gone, when he's gone
You wouldn't believe to what extent
My mind is going to
You wouldn't deny me in your dreams
You couldn't belong to someone else
If you could see me now
And I'd be the only one
When he's gone

I will be someone you lean upon
When he's gone, when he's gone
And what is left is a love so strong
When he's gone, when he's gone
I will be someone you lean upon
When he's gone, when he's gone

Don't tell me it's too late
And your love don't make me wait
I can see the end of time
With a love that makes you mine
And tonight I let you know
There's a love that won't let go