Cell Block Tango

Cell Block Tango Composer(s): Fred Ebb - John Kander Performer(s): Chita Rivera & Girls and multiple other artists



Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz! Announcer: And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango" Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz! All: He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it Velma: I betcha you would have done the same! Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: You know how people have these little habits That get you down Like Bernie Bernie liked to chew gum No, not chew... Pop! So I came home this one day And I am reAlly irritated And looking for a little sympathy And there's Bernie layin' on the couch Drinkin' a beer and chewin' No, not chewin'... Poppin' So, I said to him I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wAll And I fired two warning shots... into his head! All: He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have heard it I betcha you would Have dome the same Annie: I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city About two years ago And he told me he was single And we hit it off right away So, we started living together He'd go to work, he'd come home I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner And then I found out "Single" he told me? Single, my ass! Not only was he married Oh, no, he had six wives! One of those Mormons, you know So that night, when he came home I fixed him his drink as usual You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic! All: He had it coming He had it coming He took a flower In its prime And then he used it And he abused it It was a murder But not a crime! June: Now, I'm standing in the kitchen Carvin' up the chicken for dinner Minding my own business And in storms my husband Wilbur In a jealous rage "You been screwin' the milkman!" he says He was crazy and he kept screamin' "You been screwin the milkman!" And then he ran into my knife He ran into my knife ten times! All: If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same Hunyak: Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok Hogy a hires lakem lefogta A ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem Probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg June: Yeah, but did you do it? Hunyak: Uh uh! Not guilty! Velma: My sister, Veronica and I did this double act And my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us Now, for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row One, two, three, four, five... splits, spread-eagles Back flips, flip flops, one right after the other So this one night before the show We're down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin' Havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice So I go out to get some I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie Doing Number Seventeen, the spread-eagle Well, I was in such a state of shock I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing It wasn't until later when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead. Velma: They had it coming Girls: They had it coming Velma: They had it coming Girls: They had it coming Velma: They had it coming All along Girls: They had it coming All along Velma: I didn't do it Girls: She didn't do it Velma: But if I done it Girls: But if she done it Velma: How could you tell me that I was wrong? Velma: They had it coming Girls: They had it coming Velma: They had it coming Girls: They had it coming Velma: They had it coming Girls: They took a flower Velma: All along Girls: In its prime Velma: I didn't do it Girls: And then they used it Velma: But if I'd done it How could you tell me that I was wrong? Mona: I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter But he was always trying to find himself He'd go out every night looking for himself And on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead! All: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum Girls (Group 1): They had it comin' Girls (Group 2): They had it comin' Girls (1): They had it comin' Girls (2): They had it comin' Girls (1): They had it comin' Girls (2): They had it comin' Girls (1): All along Girls (2): All along Girls (1): 'Cause if they used us Girls (2): 'Cause if they used us Girls (1): And they abused us Girls (2): And they abused us All: How could you tell us that we were wrong? Girls (1): He had it coming Girls (2): He had it coming Girls (1): He only had himself to blame Girls (2): He only had himself to blame Girls (1): If you'd have been there Girls (2): If you'd have been there Girls (1): If you'd have seen it Girls (2): If you'd have seen it All: I betcha you would have done the same! Liz: You pop that gum one more time! Annie: Single my ass! June: Ten times! Hunyak: Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe! Velma: Number seventeen, the spread-eagle! Mona: Artistic differences! Liz: Pop Annie: Six June: Squish Hunyak: Uh uh Velma: Cicero Mona: Lipschitz!