Alive
Performer(s): Beastie Boys



"I have never been more ready in my entire life to do this right now
Never 
It's all been leading up to this moment
All right now, right here
My whole life, right here...."
We got rhyme selections in a wide array
J'ai des bonsbons pour vous à manger (I have some goodie goods for you to eat)
The party people scream "Oui, oui c'est vrai!" (Yes yes, it's true)
'Cause I got a remote for my B-Day

Hey I'm A-d-r-o-c-k
I use a microphone like Picasso* used clay
Down with records from around the way
Peace to Bambatta and Jazzy Jay

I rock on the mic from here to Bombay
I'll give it my best and say "Come what may"
'Cause everybody's got their dues to pay
I'm lookin' sideways like my man Pel

Gettin' old, like Ali "Boomba Yay"*
So fed up with my Caesar toupee
It's time to speak up and not turn away
Make the sun shine when it's sorry and gray

D-D-Dive*
So-Socialize
Open up your ears and clean out your eyes
If you learn to love, you're in for a surprise
It could be nice to be alive

I'm takin' doodie rhymes to a brand new height
I shine on the mic like Ultra Bright
Created a monster with these rhymes I write
Don't say mine are wack, please say goodnight

Now here's a little something that you might not like
My DJ's name is Mix Master Mike
It's a real pity that you people gotta bite
But I can understand 'cause he sounds so nice

Readin' in the news, 'cause I'm Country Mike
Use a microphone like Shazam use tights
Try to keep clear of that hate and spite
So I keep my mind still, like the still of night

Now who in the world do you want to fight
It's against the system we should unite
Homophobics say "Alright..."
If you learn to love then you might love life

Bringin' back that old New York rap....

Now you can shuffle numbers but facts is facts
So many billionaires while so many lacks*
To afford the poor decide to react
Come on party people, share up your stacks

Now, I'm a' break it down to the brass tacks*
Do the Biz Marke Dance and Cabbage Patch
You're tried to turn the key but then you broke the latch
Sneakin' through my files for some rhymes to snatch

I'd like to have a say on the income tax
Don't wanna help build bombs and that's the facts
No money for health care, so what's the catch?
The man got you locked with no keys to the latch

Mike and Adam have got my back
You bring the mic and we'll bring the raps
Turn on the P.A. and rock your shack
Don't smoke cheeba, can't stand crack*

Bringin' back that old New York rap....

Where's The Playground Susie?
Composer(s): Jimmy Webb
Performer(s): Glen Campbell



The end has come and found us here
With our toys scattered all around us here
The puzzle that we never found an answer for
Still asks us, darlin', just what all the games were for
And here we stand in a box of sand

Where's the playground Susie?
You're the one who's supposed to know her way around
Where's the playground Susie
If I don't stay around?
If I don't stay around?

The carousel has stopped us here
It twirled a time or two and then it dropped us here
And still you're not content with something about me
But what merry-go-round can you ride without me
To take your hand ? 
How would you stand?

Where's the playground Susie
If I decide to let you go and play around?
Where's the playground Susie
If I don't stay around?
If I don't stay around?

Where's the playground Susie?
You're the one who's supposed to know her way around
Where's the playground Susie
If I decide to let you go and play around? 

Alison Gross
(Traditional)
Performer(s): Steeleye Span



Alison Gross that lives in yon tower
The ugliest witch in the North Country
Has trysted me one day up to her bower
And many a fair speech she made to me

She stroked my head and she combed my hair
She set me down softly on her knee
Saying if you will be my lover so true
So many good things I would give to you

Away, away, you ugly witch
Go far away and let me be
I never will be your lover so true
And wish I were out of your communy

Alison Gross she must be
The ugliest witch in the North Country
Alison Gross she must be
The ugliest witch in the North Country

She showed me a mantle of red scarlet
With golden flowers and fringes fine
Saying if you will be my lover so true
This goodly gift it shall be thine

She showed me a shirt of the softest silk
Well wrought with pearls abound the band
Saying if you will be my lover so true
This goodly gift you shall command

Alison Gross she must be
The ugliest witch in the North Country
Alison Gross she must be
The ugliest witch in the North Country

She showed me a cup of the good red gold
Well set with jewels so fair to see
Saying if you will be my lover so true
This goodly gift I will give to thee

Away, away, you ugly witch
Go far away and let me be
I never would kiss your ugly mouth
For all of the gifts that you could give

Alison Gross she must be
The ugliest witch in the North Country
Alison Gross she must be
The ugliest witch in the North Country

She turned her right and round about
And thrice she blew on a grass-green horn
She swore by the moon and the stars of above
That she'd make me rue the day I was born

The out she has taken a silver wand
She's turned her three times round and round
She muttered such words till my strength it did fail
And she's turned me into an ugly worm

Alison Gross she must be
The ugliest witch in the North Country
Alison Gross she must be
The ugliest witch in the North Country

Where’s The Boy? Here's The Girl!
Composer(s): George Gershwin; Ira Gershwin
Performer(s): Betty Comden



There is no doubt about the fact that life
Without a lord and master is a disaster
But I’ve not met as yet the one I’d like to get
But some I seek well, but none’s my equal
There’s just one man and it’s high time
He came to take up my time
In dreams I see this he who’s all the world to me
Though I’ve not met him, I can’t forget him

Where’s the boy, what’s he waiting for?
Where’s the boy, here’s the girl
What is he hesitating for? 
Can’t he see, here’s the girl

Maybe we shall meet on some romantic mountain
Probably I’ll meet him at a soda fountain
He’ll bring me joy
But what’s he waiting for?
Where’s the boy, here’s the girl

Oh where’s the boy, what’s he waiting for?
Where’s the boy, here’s the girl
Oh what is he hesitating for?
Can’t he see, here’s the girl

Maybe we shall meet on some romantic mountain
Probably I’ll meet him at a soda fountain
He’ll bring me joy
But what’s he waiting for?
Where’s the boy, here’s the girl 

Alison
Composer(s): Elvis Costello
First release by: Elvis Costello - 1977
Covered by multiple other artists



Oh it's so funny to be seeing you after so long, girl
And with the way you look I understand
that you are not impressed
But I heard you let that little friend of mine
take off your party dress
I'm not going to get too sentimental
like those other sticky valentines
'cause I don't know if you've been loving somebody
I only know it isn't mine

Alison, I know this world is killing you
Oh, Alison, my aim is true

Well I see you've got a husband now
Did he leave your pretty fingers lying in the wedding cake?
You used to hold him right in your hand
I'll bet he took all he could take
Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
when I hear the silly things that you say
I think somebody better put out the big light
cause I can't stand to see you this way

Alison, I know this world is killing you
Oh, Alison, my aim is true
My aim is true

Where's My Apple Pie?
Composer(s): Joan Baez
Performer(s): Joan Baez



Been sitting on old park benches
Brother, hasn't it been fun?
But you remember me from the trenches
I fought in World War One
Yes, you saw us off at the troop train
Smiling a brave goodbye
But where were you when we came home
To claim our apple pie

Oh where's our apple pie, my friends?
Where's our apple pie?
We've walked and wheeled from the battlefield
Now where's our apple pie?

World War Two was a favorite
God was surely on our side
The teenage kids enlisted with
The blessings of their daddys' pride
Well the wars may change but not so the glaze
In the young boys' eyes
When they cry out for their mamas
In the hours before they die

Oh where's our apple pie, my friends?
Where's our apple pie?
We've walked and wheeled from the battlefield
Now where's our apple pie?

I volunteered for the last one
And I don't want to moralize
But somehow I thought we deserved the best
For the way we threw away our lives
For we all believed in something
I know it wasn't very clear
But I know it wasn't rats in a hospital room
And a broken-down wheelchair

Oh where's our apple pie, my friends?
Where's our apple pie?
We've walked and wheeled from the battlefield
Now where's our apple pie?

Yes, Johnny finally got his gun
Before he got his apple pie
Now he hasn't got a hand to eat it with
But still he doesn't want to die
Because he prefers to go on fighting
And let his baby brother know
When the next time around the call goes out
It's "Hell no, we won't go!"

There'll be no World War Three, my friends
There'll be no World War Three
We've walked and wheeled from the battlefield
There'll be no World War Three 

Aline
((Adapted from: Aline (by Christophe) - 1965))
Composer(s): Christophe - Jan De Vuyst
Performer(s): Doran - 1998



Ik sta op een brug, het wordt avond
Daar in het water, zie ik jouw gezicht
Ik wil jouw beeld, heel zachtjes strelen
Blijf je nog even, deel mijn verdriet

'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Aline, 'k wil jou terug
'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Oh, 'k had nooit zo'n verdiet

Ik heb jou gezocht
Dagen en weken
Bij vrienden en vreemden
Maar van jou geen spoor

Jouw huis staat nu leeg
De tijd zo verlaten
Ik moet jou vergeten
Maar 'k wil jou terug

'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Aline, 'k wil jou terug
'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Oh, 'k had nooit zo'n verdiet

Er is geen mens
Met wie ik wil praten
Wie kan mij begrijpen
Alleen jij, Aline

'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Aline, 'k wil jou terug
'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Oh, 'k had nooit zo'n verdiet

'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Aline, 'k wil jou terug
'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Oh, 'k had nooit zo'n verdiet

'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Aline, 'k wil jou terug
'k Voel me zo leeg, zo leeg
Oh, 'k had nooit zo'n verdiet
'k Voel me zo leeg

Where's Me Shirt?
Performer(s): Ken Dodd



Well it all began in the year of one
When Adam was the first man
And a girl called Eve, so we believe
Was made to be his woman
She led him up the Garden of Eden, by a tree
Then she offered him her apple
And he cried out suddenly (eee-eeee-eeeee)

Where's me shirt?
Where's me shirt?

I feel a proper twazzer without me shirt
I've got me tickling-tackle and me nicky-nocky-noo
But I must confess I feel undressed
Like this, in front of you

Where's me shirt?
I can't find me shirt anywhere 
It's twenty-five past five in the Garden of Eden and I can't find me shirt 
Fancy leaving me in a garden with no shirt on, like this 
Look at all these creepy-crawly things here 
Ooh, look, there's a serpent 
Go 'way 
Go 'way you nasty old serpent 
Go on, shoo! 
Go on, shoo!

Since the days of old, we've all been told
Of men like Bonaperte
His great retreat and his first defeat
Was the thing that broke his heart
He stuck just outside Moscow and then made history
He stuck his hand inside his coat
And cried out bitterly (eee-eeee-eeeee)

Where's me shirt?
Where's me shirt?

I can't go on like zis, wizout my shirt
I've had my tickle-tonic on my nicky-nocky-nee
But I just can't go through all this snow
Without a shirt on me

Where's me shirt?
Oh, sacre blue 
Sacre flippin' blue, where's me shirt? 
By Jove, t'ain't 'alf frosty 
Ooh, ooh, this tent isn't 'alf drafty 
I don't know where the draft's comin' from, but I know where it's goin' to

Back in eighty-one, in the mid-day sun
In Tombstone, one September
Wyatt Earp was due to go into
A gunfight he'd remember
The Clanton's and McLourys started firin' suddenly
As the gunsmoke cleared and the twonsfolk cheered
Wyatt Earp said quietly (eee-eeee-eeeee)

Where's me shirt?
Where's me shirt?

I feel a proper twit without me shirt
I've lost me ticklin'-tackle and me nicky-nocky-nee
But I feel a twerp, me Wyatt Earp
With my shirt shot off o' me

Ere, where's me shirt?
Where's me gunfightin' shirt? 
Ooh, I say, here comes the Indians 
'Ere, you be careful where you're shootin' those arrows 
Where's me shirt? 
Where's me shir... 
I can't find me shirt anywhere 
D'you know, I'm sure I had it when I came out 
Where's me shirt? 

Aline
((Dutch Version: Aline (by Doran) - 1998))
Composer(s): Christophe
First release by: Christophe - 1965



J'avais dessiné sur le sable 
Son doux visage, qui me souriait 
Puis il a plu, sur cette plage 
Dans cet orage, elle a disparu 
Et j'ai crié, crié Aline pour qu'elle revienne 
Et j'ai pleuré, pleuré oh j'avais trop de peine 
Je me suis assis, auprès de son âme 
Mais la belle dame, s'était enfuie 
Je l'ai cherché, sans plus y croire 
Et sans un espoir, pour me guider 
Et j'ai crié, crié Aline pour qu'elle revienne 
Et j'ai pleuré, pleuré oh j'avais trop de peine 
Je n'ai gardé, que ce doux visage 
Comme une épave, sur le sable mouillé 
Et j'ai crié, crié Aline pour qu'elle revienne 
Et j'ai pleuré, pleuré oh j'avais trop de peine 
Et j'ai crié, crié Aline pour qu'elle revienne 
Et j'ai pleuré, pleuré oh j'avais trop de peine 
Et j'ai crié, crié Aline pour qu'elle revienne 
Et j'ai pleuré, pleuré oh j'avais trop de peine

Wherefore And Why
Composer(s): Gordon Lightfoot
Performer(s): Gordon Lightfoot;
and various other artists



When I awoke this mornin', something inside of me
Told me this would be my day
I heard the mornin' train, I felt the wind change
Too many times I'm on my way

Come on sunshine, what can you show me
Where can you take me and make me understand
The wind can shake me, brothers forsake me
The rain can touch me, but can I touch the rain

Then I saw the Sun rise above the cotton sky
Like a candycane delight
I saw the milkman, I saw the business man
I saw the only road in sight

Then I got to thinkin' what makes you want to go
To know the wherefore and the why
So many times now, oh Lord, I can't remember
If it's September or July

Come on sunshine, what can you show me
Where can you take me and make me understand
The wind can shake me, brothers forsake me
The rain can touch me, but can I touch the rain

Then all at once it came to me, I saw the wherefore
And you can see it if you try
It's in the Sun above, it's in the one you love
You'll never know the reason why

Come on sunshine, what can you show me
Where can you take me to make me understand
The wind can shake me, brothers forsake me
The rain can touch me, but can I touch the rain
So much to lose, so much to gain 

Don't Forget Me
Composer(s): Harry Nilsson
First release by: Harry Nilsson - 1974
Covered by multiple other artists



In the wintertime keep your feet warm 
But keep your clothes on and don't forget me 
Keep the memories 
But keep your powder dry too 

In the summer by the poolside 
While the fireflies are all around you 
All miss you when I'm lonely 
I'll miss the alimony too 

Don't forget me - don't forget me 
Take it easy if only for a little while 
You know I think about you 
Let me know you think about me too 

And when we're older and full of cancer 
It doesn't matter, come on get happy 
`Cause nothing lasts forever 
But I will always love you 

Don't forget me, please don't forget me 
Make it easy if just for a little while 
You know I think about you 
Let me know you think about me too 

Where You Lead
Composer(s): Carole King; Toni Stern
Performer(s): Faith Hill;
and various other artists



Wanting you the way I do
I only want to be with you
And I would go
To the ends of the earth
`Cause, darling
To me that's what
You're worth

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

If you're out on the road
Feeling lonely, and so cold
All you have to do is call my name
And I'll be there on the next train

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

I always wanted a real home
With flowers in the window sill
But if you want to live in New York City
Honey, you know I will

I never thought I could get satisfaction
From just one man
If anyone can keep me happy
You're the one who can

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need to be with you
I will follow

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need to be with you
I will follow where you lead
Oh, yes I will

Oh, I'm gonna follow where you lead
I'm gonna follow where you lead
Oh, I'm gonna follow where you lead
I will follow
I will follow

Oh, yes I will 

Alien (I Am)
Composer(s): Dave Brock
Performer(s): Hawkwind



Squatting in your bodies, microscopic breeding
I sleep in you and eat from within
I am the Alien 
We are here to help you
Make the mend in the chemical bend
We are the Aliens
I lack emotion, have no love that I can find
I want some devotion, to ease a worried mind
The heart is softened, soul is scorched
The mind erodes away some sentimental thought
The window crackes is closed
The door slams shut, the lights put out
Say no more, speak no less
For you I become the Alien I am
For you I become the Alien I am
The cry primal is muffled, the mouth seal's tight
The eye looks within, say no more, speak no less
I the Alien
I am the Alien
Reject your human touch
I lack emotion, have no love that I can find
I want some devotion, to ease a worried mind
The heart is softened, soul is scorched
The mind erodes away some sentimental thought
This is Alien control, calling space ship Earth
Alien control calling Earth, are you receiving Earth?
Are you receiving...
We are the Aliens
We have warned you about...
The Danger
We are ... We are ... We are ... We are ...

Where Would I Be
Composer(s): Edgar Winter; Jerry LaCroix
Performer(s): Edgar Winter



Where would I be, without you?
You give me hope and inspiration to get me through
You're a lovin' kind of woman: Understanding
Lord, I love you
Where would I be without you?

Joy follows you wherever you are
Now you spread love and affection near and far
You've got shiny skies above you, birds around you
Lord, I love you
Joy follows you wherever you are

Where would I be without you?
There's a reason now in everything I do
Spring was surely fashioned of you, likened somehow
Lord I love you
Where would I be without you?

Baby without you, to see me through
without you, to get me through 

Alien
Composer(s): Jeannette Sears - Pete Sears
Performer(s): Jefferson Starship



Are you an alien
are you from this earth
would you care to tell me
details of birth
did you just emerge from thin air
can you even tell me
are you really there
jet age dreams
from days gone by
the circle in te forest
where they dnced beneath the sky
...beneath the sky...
beneath the sky

do you know my thoughts
can you read my mind
would you dare to tell me
what it is you find
come on now tell me what you find
what lays hidden in my mind
I can see through you
I can hear you too
I can feel you touch my mind

did they paint your face
in ancient times
were they talking 'bout you
in celtic rhymes
can I just reach out
pull back the shroud
would you let me hold you
would it be allowed

are you the legend
did they call you seer
would you let me hold you
would ou disappear...
alien...

Where Will The Words Come From?
Composer(s): Sonny Curtis; Glen D. Hardin
Performer(s): Gary Lewis and The Playboys; 
Rosanne Cash



Where will the words come from
When I tell you I don't love you anymore?
When I command my lips to say
"It's over now, please go away"
Will the words be there
Or will they fail me like they've always done before?
Where will the words come from
When I tell you I don't want you, I don't love you anymore

What happened to the love we had when it went away?
Did it change itself into a cloud & become a rainy day?
Where will the words come from
When I tell you I don't want you, I don't love you anymore

Where will the words come from
When I tell you I don't love you anymore?
When I search inside my soul
For words to tell of love grown cold
Will the words be there
Or will they fail me like they've always done before?
Where will the words come from
When I tell you I don't want you, I don't love you anymore 

Alice's Restaurant
Composer(s): Arlo Guthrie
Performer(s): Arlo Guthrie; Enoch Light; The New Christy Minstrels



This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the restaurant 
but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant, that's just the name of the song 
and that's why I called the song Alice's Restaurant

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on Thanksgiving 
when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant 
but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the church nearby the restaurant 
in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and Fasha the dog 
And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of room downstairs where the pews used to be in  
Havin' all that room, seein' as how they took out all the pews 
they decided that they didn't have to take out their garbage for a long time

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there 
and we decided it'd be a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump  
So we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW microbus 
took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the city dump

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving"  
And we had never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before 
and with tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage

We didn't find one 
Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the side road there was another fifteen foot cliff 
and at the bottom of the cliff there was another pile of garbage 
And we decided that one big pile is better than two little piles 
and rather than bring that one up we decided to throw our's down

That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat 
went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie  
He said, "Kid, we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of garbage 
and just wanted to know if you had any information about it" 
And I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope under that garbage"

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone 
we finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down and pick up the garbage 
and also had to go down and speak to him at the police officer's station  
So we got in the red VW microbus with the shovels and rakes and implements of destruction 
and headed on toward the police officer's station

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at the police station 
and the first was he could have given us a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone 
which wasn't very likely, and we didn't expect it 
and the other thing was he could have bawled us out and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again 
which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's station 
there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested  
Handcuffed  
And I said "Obie, I don't think I can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on"  
He said, "Shut up, kid 
Get in the back of the patrol car"

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the quote Scene of the Crime unquote
I want tell you about the town of Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here 
they got three stop signs, two police officers, and one police car 
but when we got to the Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars 
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it 
And they was using up all kinds of cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station 
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints
and they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows 
and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us  
Took pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner 
and that's not to mention the aerial photography

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail  
Obie said he was going to put us in the cell  
Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want your wallet and your belt"  
And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell 
but what do you want my belt for?"  
And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings"  
I said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?" 
Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, 'cause he took out the toilet seat 
so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the
roll the toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape  
Obie was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice (remember Alice? It's a song about Alice) 
Alice came by and with a few nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back to the church 
had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, and didn't get up until the next morning 
when we all had to go to court

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures 
with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down  
Man came in said, "All rise"  
We all stood up, and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures 
and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he sat down, we sat down 
Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures 
with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog 
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows 
and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry 
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice 
and there wasn't nothing he could do about it 
and the judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows 
and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us  
And we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but that's not what I came to tell you about

Came to talk about the draft

They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street, where you walk in 
you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected  
I went down to get my physical examination one day, and I walked in, I sat down 
got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning  
`Cause I wanted to look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted
I wanted to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York 
and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things 
And I waked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604"

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill  
I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill  
Kill  
I wanna, I wanna see
I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth  
Eat dead burnt bodies 
I mean kill, Kill, Kill, Kill"  
And I started jumping up and down yelling, "Kill, Kill" 
and he started jumping up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, "Kill, Kill"  
And the sergeant came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy"

Didn't feel too good about it

Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections, detections, neglections 
and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me at the thing there 
and I was there for two hours, three hours, four hours, I was there for a long time 
going through all kinds of mean nasty ugly things and I was just having a tough time there 
and they was inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no part untouched  
Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the last man, I walked in 
walked in sat down after a whole big thing there, and I walked up and said, "What do you want?"  
He said, "Kid, we only got one question 
Have you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre 
with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all the phenome... 
and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures 
with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said 
"Kid, I want you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... Now kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is 
Group W's where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committing your special crime 
and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there  
Mother rapers 
Father stabbers 
Father rapers!  
Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me!  
And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me 
And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me 
and he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?"  
I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage"  
He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" 
And I said, "Littering"  
And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things 
till I said, "And creating a nuisance"  
And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench 
talking about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench  
And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things, until the Sergeant came over 
had some paper in his hand, held it up and said

"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-
any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer's-name-and-any-
other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said 
but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there 
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it down there, just like it was 
and everything was fine and I put down the pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the other side 
in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on the other side 
in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the following words

("Kid, Have You Rehabilitated Yourself?")

I went over to the sergeant, said, "Sergeant, you got a lot a damn gall to ask me if I've rehabilitated myself 
I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench 
'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug"  
He looked at me and said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints off to Washington"

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a study in black and white of my fingerprints  
And the only reason I'm singing you this song now is 'cause you may know somebody in a similar situation 
or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a situation like that there's only one thing you can do 
and that's walk into the shrink wherever you are, just walk in say "Shrink, You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant"  
And walk out
You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and they won't take him  
And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them 
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in singing a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out 
They may think it's an organization  
And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said fifty people a day walking in 
singing a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out  
And friends they may thinks it's a movement

And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement 
and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the guitar

With feeling  
So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and sing it when it does  
Here it comes

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

That was horrible  
If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud 
I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes 
I could sing it for another twenty five minutes  
I'm not proud... or tired

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part harmony and feeling

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing

All right now

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Excepting Alice
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's Restaurant

Where Will The Dimple Be?
Composer(s): Bob Merrill; Al Hoffman
Performer(s): Rosemary Clooney; Alma Cogan



Chorus:
On the baby's knuckle, on the baby's knee
Where will the baby's dimple be?
Baby's cheek or baby's chin
Seems to me it'll be a sin 
If it's always covered by the safety-pin
Where will the dimple be? 

Every night we stay at home, my love and me alone
Making wishes over dishes in the sink
Will our bundle full of joy be a darling girl or boy?
Will the booties be a baby blue or pink? 

Chorus

Now I wake up every night with such an appetite
Eat a chocolate pie, topped off with sauerkraut
Then I put some records on, munch on crackers until dawn
And just sit around all night and try to guess 

Chorus

While I play the clinging vine, I watch that love of mine
Build him cradles while I'm pecking at his cheek
Not just one, but two or three, twins run in my family
And my cousin Jane had triplets just last week 

Chorus x2 

Alice The Camel
(Traditional)



Alice the camel has five humps
Alice the camel has five humps
Alice the camel has five humps
So ride, Alice, ride
Boom, boom, boom, boom!

Alice the camel has four humps
Alice the camel has four humps
Alice the camel has four humps
So ride, Alice, ride.
Boom, boom, boom, boom!

Alice the camel has three humps
Alice the camel has three humps
Alice the camel has three humps
So ride, Alice, ride
Boom, boom, boom, boom!

Alice the camel has two humps
Alice the camel has two humps
Alice the camel has two humps
So ride, Alice, ride
Boom, boom, boom, boom!

Alice the camel has one hump
Alice the camel has one hump
Alice the camel has one hump
So ride, Alice, ride
Boom, boom, boom, boom!

Alice the camel has no humps
Alice the camel has no humps
Alice the camel has no humps
'Cause Alice is a horse, of course

Where Were You When I Needed You
Composer(s): Steve Barri; P.F. Sloan
Performer(s): The Grass Roots;
and various other artists



Don't bother crying
Don't bother calling
It's all over now
There's no use in stalling
The love I once felt
I don't feel anymore for you
This time I'll even open the door for you
You walked out when I was down
Well now I'm well off
And look, look whose comin' round
Where were you when I needed you
Where were you when I wanted you
Where were you when I need you
Where
You're looking good, it's hard to fight it
But no use explain' 
I've already decided
That goin' with you
Is worse than without you
I won't spend a lifetime worryin' about you
When things got bad
You disappeared
But I'm back on my feet
And look, look whose standin' there
Where were you when I neeed you
Where were you when I wanted you
Where were you when I needed you
Where
You were so young
And you were so wild
I knew you were nobody's innocent child
That first day I saw you 
You really got to me
I thought I could change you
What good did it do me
When times got rought 
Ah, you would't wait
Well now you're trippin' back
And babe, babe it's too late
Where were you when I needed you
Where were you when I wanted you
Where were you when I needed you
Where (etc.)