bidden

Ik heb je wel beloofd

van je te blijven houden,

Maar ach,

Wat zijn beloften

toen ik sliep.

De nacht werd dag,

heel langzaam werd ik wakker.

En zag ik voor 't eerst

Een bloem die met haar kleuren,

mij beroerde

En staande op 't eiland

van mijn waarden,

Dreef ik bij jou vandaan.

Ik zag de tranen in je ogen blinken,

Ik strekte nog mijn handen
naar je uit
je was te ver.................

En ik had zo beloofd

van je te blijven houden,

Maar ach wat zijn beloften

gegeven toen ik sliep.

First I was dying to finish my high school

and start college,

And than I was dying to finish college

and start working,

Than I was dying to get married

and have children,

And than I was dying for my children.

Than I was dying for my children

to grow old enough

so I could go back to work.

But than I was dying to retire.

And now I am dying.

I suddenly realize

that I forget to live.

Please don't let this

happen to you.

Appreciate your current

situation and enjoy

each day!

Het is zondagmiddag 14.30uur. Rotterdam-Nederland.

Mijn computer staat afgestemd op Radio Apintie.

Dé Surinaamse Happy Station. Luid galmt ieder woord

door mijn appartement. Met mijn lunch in de hand, neem

ik plaats voor de pc. Willy Alberga in een 'Niet gewoon

gesprek" met dhr. Eddy Jharap.

Het interview raakt mij zeer diep. Ik luister

Google, zoek, lees, eet.

Op de site van Amcon -

http://www.amcon.nl/download/jharaphfdst4.pdf

vind ik een hoofdstuk. Een hoofdstuk dat de basis is van

het leven van deze man.

Zijn ontwikkeling als kind. Als ziek kind met een andere

etniciteit in een omgeving waar het Christelijk geloof

domineert.

Lang zal dit interview mij bijblijven. Zijn boek, geschreven

door een ghostwriter de econoom en historicus Sandew Hira,

komt direct op mijn verlanglijstje. Sterker nog, digitaal benader

ik Amcon met de vraag; 'Waar kan ik dit boek kopen in Rotterdam?'

Zodra ik dit boek gelezen heb, zorg ik voor een samenvatting.

Dus tot dan!

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:

one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him

he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life

there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very

lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it: "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,

you'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.

 During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Author unknown.

How my mom become an angel.

I thought it was time for me to tell you what happened to mum, keep in mind we did not know a lot of what was going on and still don't.

Ok on the 10th of October (the day before my mum's 62nd birthday) mum was in her room making her bed when dad heard her yelling and crying saying she had hurt her back, nana and dad managed to get her into the lounge and got her seated, dad rang us kids and asked what to do and we said ring an ambulance, by this time mum was in so much pain and crying hysterically. The doctor admitted her to hospital and gave her an injection for the pain and said it was like arthritis, mum come home after a few days and was still pretty quiet, a few days later mum said have a look at my leg it is swollen, and believe me swollen wasn't the word for it, it was gigantic, so once again mum was taken in the ambulance. The doctor did some tests and mum had blood clots which were in both legs now, mum was having injection after injection and looked like a pin cushion. Ok they get that under control and mum comes home again, i said to dad something is not right with mum, she didn't want to go near her computer, did not want to eat, really had lost interest in everything. So back to the doctors we go who send her to another hospital 100ks away and we find a very nice doctor, he was so nice to mum. Anyway he does a lot of tests and X-rays and comes back with bad news, mum has cancer in her lung and hip both of which were dormant he said and not to really worry about those, but she also had it in her lower back which the doctor said could be treated with radiation therapy. Mum is now transferred to another hospital about 300ks away, mum had 5 days of the therapy and was transferred back to the hospital closer to home. Mum came home from the hospital and had a nurse going there everyday to give her the injections to stop her blood from clotting. I would go around seeing her and she still didn't seem interested in anything, she said food tasted funny and said she couldn't see a lot of strange things not right. Dad rings Monday morning (10th of DEC exactly 2 months since the first time she went in) to tell us mum is back in hospital and doesn't want any of us kids to go visit her, we ask dad why she doesn't want to see us and dad said he didn't know. Dad keeps us updated and tells us mum is now on 24 hour oxygen... we sit at home and wonder what is going on, please dad can we go see mum and dad just says he has to listen to mum. Wednesday night dad goes to leave the hospital like normal and mum cry's her eyes out and says don't leave (which she said every night) so dad told her he loved her and went to leave and mum took her wedding and other rings off and gave them to dad and said "i wont be coming home again". Dad came around and told us what mum had said and i told him i was going up there the next day whether she liked it or not. Well i never did get to go up the next day as mums organs all shut down 6.30am Thursday the 13th December. Dad and the rest of us kids still have not got any closure as we still don't know what went wrong. It was obvious now when we look back mum knew a lot that we didn't, i just wish i had the chance to hold her and tell her how much i loved her and most of all i wish i could have taken her pain for her......

That's all i can tell you cause that's all i know, the start of October i had a healthy mum and nine weeks later she was gone, it is so unfair....

Lot's of love always Jenny.

Als er licht is in de ziel,

 zal er schoonheid zijn in de mens.

Als er schoonheid is in de mens,

zal er harmonie zijn in het huis.

Als er harmonie is in het huis,

zal er rust zijn in het land.

Als er rust is in het land,

zal er vrede zijn op aarde.

Jules Vink.

What does Santa bring for daddies?

Too old to want a toy?

Wallets, watches, ties, and sweaters

Don’t make for much joy.

What do daddies want for Christmas?

Really, in their hearts?

So perfect that they’d shriek like kids

Once the shredding starts?

Oh, Daddy! Is there anything

You want beneath the tree?

Other than, of course, to watch

Me open gifts for me?            

Kapot, gescheurd, beschadigd,

verwond of vol van pijn?

Er kunnen zoveel dingen
de oorzaak hiervan zijn.

                                    
De buitenkant kan stralen
terwijl van binnen wanhoop leeft,

maar Vader God, "De Schepper" is het,

Die nieuwe dingen geeft.

http://www.ingridsteenbeek.nl

Christmas Joys

Evergreen boughs that fill our homes

With fragrant Christmas scents,

Hearts filled with the loving glow

That Christmas represents;

Christmas cookies, turkeys stuffed,

Festive holly berry,

Little faces bright with joy,

Loved ones being merry;

Parties, songs, beribboned gifts,

Silver bells that tinkle,

Christmas trees and ornaments,

Colourful lights that twinkle;

Relatives waiting with open arms

To smile and hug and kiss us;

These are some of the special joys

http://www.vpro.nl

Het programma Tegenlicht van de VPRO
belicht nieuwe maatschappelijke
dilemma's.