- The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

- Nothing improves with age.

- No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

- Sex has no calories.

- Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

- There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

- Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

- No sex with anyone in the same office.

- Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

- A man in the house is worth two in the street.

- If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

- Virginity can be cured.

- When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

- Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

- The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

- Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

- It is always the wrong time of month.

- The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

- When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

- Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

- Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

- The younger the better.

- The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

- It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

- Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

- Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

- There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

- Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

- Love is a hole in the heart.

- If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

- Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

- Do it only with the best.

- Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

- One good turn gets most of the blankets.

- You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

- Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

- It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

- Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.

- Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

- Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

- Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.

- A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

- What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

- It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

- Never say no.

- A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

- Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

- Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

- Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.

- A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

- Love comes in spurts.

- The world does not revolve on an axis.

- Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

- Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

- Don't do it if you can't keep it up.

- There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

- Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

- Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

- "This won't hurt, I promise."