A couple,eighty year old,nearly sixty year married, they perished in a car-accident.They had enjoyed of a first class health the last ten year,especially because of pushing preference of the wife for hygienic feeding and physical exercise.When they arrived by the haven-gate, they have been brought to their residence,a tophole suite a beautiful living,with a magnificent
bedroom and a luxurious bathroom."How much will that cost here?"asked the man. "Entirely nothing,"St-Pieter said."It is the heaven here".After this they went outside and they saw agigantic golf-site.Every day were permitted to play there and every week the site transformed,likeness on one of the golf-sites on earth."How much costs an subscription?" The man asked."Nothing.It is here the heaven."They went on to the club-house,where was displayed an extensive buffet with the most delicious dishes who one can try to realize. "What cost here a meal?" the old man asked here."Don't you believe it not yet?It is here the heaven.Eat is gratis!"."Where are the dishes with low fat-and cholesterolpercentage?"
the man timorous asked."Shoud you hear!"Sint-Pieter said."You may eat here so much if you want of all what you want:never you'll fall ill.It is now once the heaven here..." Thereupon the man fell into a passion.He trowed his hat on the ground and stamped on it, tumultuous crying.Sint-Pieter and the wife amazed asked what hurt him.furious the man looked towards his wife and said:"Altogether your fault!I had be able to be here since
ten year,without all those damned full-corncakes and dishes without salt of you,!
A priest walks in the desert and sees arrive a lion.The priest goes down on his knees and prays that the lion doesn't have bad intentions.After some time he peeps from an eye-angle and perceives till his amazement that
also the lion is praing."Are you as well catholic?"the priest asks."No"the lion answers,"But I always pray before
my meal".
Randy has somewhere to repair a dishwasher and receives of the housewife the key and the instructions about
the house-animals."Of the rottweiler you don't have trouble,but what you also do,especially don't say something to the parrot".Randy goes into the house and is working.The dog is quiet laying on the carpet,but the parrot is continuous him challenging."What are you thick,I say"he calls on a fixed moment."He'thick man,I dare to bet you
aren't able to change an incandescent lamp,how should you then repair a dishwasher".Already quick Randy has
enough of that."Say,you well have a very big mouth for an animal with so little brains".The parrot just keeps still
and then he crys with a dangerous glittering in his eyes:"Oké.Catch him,Boris.".
De plaatselijke liefdadigheidsinstelling had nog nooit een gift ontvangen van de meest succesvolle advocaat in de stad.De directeur besloot hem dus maar eens te bellen. Uit onze informatie blijkt dat u 500.000 euro per jaar verdient en toch hebt u nog nooit een cent aan goede doelen gegeven,begon de directeur.Zou u ervoor voelen iets voor de gemeenschap te doen?.De advocaat antwoordde:Heeft uw onderzoek ook aan het licht gebracht dat mijn moeder ziek is en de kosten ettelijke malen haar jaarinkomen bedragen?. Eh,nee,mompelde de directeur. En dat mijn broer blind en werkloos is ?.De directeur diep beschaamd,begon een verontschuldiging te stotteren. Of dat de man van mijn zuster is omgekomen bij een ongeluk,zei de advocaat met klimmende woede in zijn stem,en haar zonder een cent met drie kinderen heeft achtergelaten?. De verootmoedigde directeur kon alleen maar zeggen:Ik vind het vreselijk.Dat heb ik allemaal niet geweten. Dus,zei de advocaat,als ik hun geen geld geef,waarom zou ik het u dan wél geven?.
Kent u die van die slak die door twee schidpadden in elkaar werd geslagen?.Zijn vrienden wilden wraak gaan nemen,dus vroegen ze:Kun je die schildpadden beschrijven?.Nee,antwoozdde de slak.Het ging allemaal zo vlug.
