Donderdag 20 juni 2024

SHADOW

When I can't see your eyes, your soul slumbers in the shadows.

Do you choose to make yourself stiff for me?

Do you prefer to stay away from me? Or are you an elusive shy one?

Somehow, you seem to draw the night closer and closer to you.

I collide with your smile that reveals a "dark" power that says:

Leave me alone, I have nothing to show you, just my shadow,

That's enough, that's my feeling

Geschreven door juliusdzs om 16:10 Reageer op dit bericht

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Donderdag 20 juni 2024

Thoughts in old age ( 1 )

Insignificance.

In my subconscious, I have to carry piles of archives. One day is a drop in the ocean, no exaggeration. It seems to me to be made up of chaotic layers.

Of knowledge and feelings, let us say all the ups and downs, innumerable experiences are interwoven in body and mind up to the moment of the present and I seem to be already far into my time, I dare not say how far, but I can already say that my image is slowly decaying or quasi immortalised after the still unknown last moment.

I admit that I don't need to write a memoir, it would be a sum of virtues that would remain with a smile. There are blind spots, too. But people are used to denying them.

Of course they will surface somewhere.

Besides, not long after my deepest sigh, all of the present will disappear from me and everyone else, or be absorbed into a rumour, individual or otherwise, or a commonplace, perhaps with a watered-down photograph.

The thing is, having come this far, at least in years, and this is called modesty, I seem to be part of something I cannot know, so big and wide, but I do not feel like denying myself.

Yet I do not have a complete picture of myself. Nor have I ever really known myself.

I am passing from something to an indeterminate nothingness, from being to oblivion. And where no one takes precedence or stands out from the other.

It is in a fit of complete contentment that I make this observation.

The earthly is often addicted to power and honour.

Or surviving to oppress

Surely I too have known much happiness and pain

and therefore now know of my relative insignificance.

This is a real relief, and I say this only once.

... Thoughts in old age. ...

Geschreven door juliusdzs om 16:06 Reageer op dit bericht

Donderdag 20 juni 2024

Thoughts in old age. ( 5 )

Is it the body or is it the mind?

Which is most in touch with slowing down?

As if a heavy sleep presses on my back

and suppresses the power of the day?

Is it unearthly and invisible?

I look for it and think about it and declare

that it is the blisters that leave the sun

and talk my summer into autumn, each time and uncomfortably again

Every living creature knows what I'm talking about

and yet I am surprised again by the gesture that seems to fit this time.

Eyelids feel heavy like ripe grapes recognising themselves in a vague gesture

Pull back, someone deep inside you calls out

You create an interplay

prescribed by a natural order whose powers are so powerful

that only listening reminds me of years gone by

The experiences acquired are the accumulation of wisdom

Geschreven door juliusdzs om 16:05 Reageer op dit bericht

Donderdag 20 juni 2024

Thoughts in old age (4)

.Rebirth

I belong to the group of people who will never be able to reach the summit of the earth,

who, behind unconscious desires, have at first risen socially to certain heights.

With striving motives and an unwavering gaze into a naive distance, reality showed me the truth. I had to gradually orient my soul's goals.

It was obvious that I had to go this way, and that my first birth

did not correspond to my last birth.

More and more it dawned on me that a heaven does not expand in a vertical and material way for a horizontal one.

It was in my inner space that I came to understand the self. I belonged to the group of loners and at the same time to a human among humans.

In this rolling duality, I live my world in action and feeling, in almost everything. You know what I mean.

What's coming, and has been coming for a long time, are the courses of learning about loss. Here, too, a last heavy delivery will be indispensable.

Probably with relief after the pain of the soul, but it has to be said: the present is content to look back:

Obviously I was born for a balanced happiness of heavenly and earthly adversity.

Geschreven door juliusdzs om 15:58 Reageer op dit bericht

Donderdag 20 juni 2024

Thoughts in old age ( 3 )

Rosary

I am what I am. So become and indulge or wean myself between coming and going.

in the moment when I am seen or when I am with you.

I console myself when I am called upon to remember (when I do not yet feel tomorrow's day, let alone the fact that in my

you and I and I come and go.

I weave my way through my existence and hope for a happiness that forces or sings with the letting go that is inherent in my existence.

And so I walk, like everyone who is surrounded by life, towards the great circle.

On the way I sometimes experience a peace within myself, created from dying and happiness.

Yes, this is how I gradually experience the time given to me. And I taste something of eternity, for which I stoop thoughtlessly and humbly on fragments of inner peace.

Geschreven door juliusdzs om 15:55 Reageer op dit bericht

Woensdag 19 juni 2024

Thoughtful

I bought a pair of glasses, tinted black, so to speak,
from the optician's range, where you can find a thousand and one different types.
Before a knowledgeable lady offered her services or announced a temporary promotion or advertisement,

I already had the two nose rings in my hand.
The lady was quick to say, "Yes, your choice is very much in fashion.

My thinking had matured over the years. It was a contemporary look in black and white;
Letters on white paper, my organ keys and not forgetting my own experiences;
Even the country's government knows how

A vision in which I do not dig deep. It is either good or bad, perhaps straightforward, but simple.
and supposed to be civil
Years of study preceded it. Every day I flick through
my favourite newspapers, like the Daily Mail.

Geschreven door juliusdzs om 22:50 Reageer op dit bericht

Woensdag 19 juni 2024

The aviary

I'm not there yet, says the man. His lips are weathered.

I have left so much behind me and had to replace so many mirrors.

The road I walk has many bumps and holes.

There are also castles in the air full of longing and children's eyes that still speak to me freely.

What am I looking for? The years have told me everything.

Countless times my skin has been changed and my hair has gone from blonde to grey to bald.

My story has been changed countless times, the seasons have turned to pale as well.

My spine, too, has been reverently laid to rest, full of believing.

We walk the raked path around the aviary in the garden together, hand in hand.

Watching the fluttering colours and listening to the unintelligible whistles.

We sit and silence the silence. We share the vast simplicity mixed with fragrant scents.

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