20 Shocking Confessions Made By NASA Astronauts - PART II
14. MISSION CONTROL ASSUMES ASTRONAUTS ARE IDIOTS
We’re used to NASA, or some kind of shadowy government organization working NASA’s puppet strings, treating we mere civilians like the morons it thinks we are. That’s par for the course, no shock there. They might be right too, we made the Kardashians cultural icons, we can’t be relied upon to make intelligent observations.
But you would have thought they at the very least would treat their astronauts, the people who go through years of training to be elite space sailors, as though they might know what they’re talking about.
In 1965 Jim Lovell saw a UFO during their second orbit. When he reported it to mission control, they questioned his sighting, asking if he was actually seeing a discarded booster. Lovell advised them he could see the booster too, and somehow refrained from telling them he knew the difference between a booster and a f*$@&!g UFO.
Maybe they mistook Lovell for Forest Gump Tom Hanks instead of Apollo 13 Hanks. Rookie mistake.
13. WE DON’T KNOW WHERE ALIENS COME FROM
This one might be our fault for making assumptions. We can blame the movies too. You see, every piece of alien fiction where we go off in search of alien planets/technology/women-to-teach-how-to-make-love those in charge of the missions seem to have some idea of where the aliens call home. We’ve been safe in the knowledge that, even though they won’t admit it to us, the government knows that the aliens come from Alpha Laheugo IX or something, out there in the Crustacean system…whatever, the point is, they’ve made contact, and we know.
We don’t bloody know!
This revelation comes from our friend Edgar Mitchell, who when speaking to Britain’s Kerrang Radio said, “Have we been able to identify where the other planets are? No. Certainly not in our solar system.”
But who could blame extraterrestrials for not giving us their address? After all, would you really want earth people showing up at your planet, asking if you’ve “heard the good news”?
12. ALIENS VISIT GERMANY
Perhaps we’ve just been conditioned to think that aliens just mostly visit America. Or at least, they seem to crash there. Maybe America is just the extraterrestrial equivalent of the precarious mountain routes where drunk teenagers have drift road races. Either way, it seems that the wee green fellas like to take a trip to Germany too.
While NASA astronaut Gordon Cooper was stationed in Germany in 1953, he was apparently subjected to frequent UFO sightings. In an interview in 1988, he said he would see strange metallic saucer-shaped objects in the sky for consecutive nights, and that they certainly weren’t indigenous to earth.
See, everyone loves bratwurst.
11. ALIENS VISIT US GOVERNMENT FACILITIES
Usually the only people who willingly go to visit the government are lobbyists for the tobacco industry. Because, seriously, they don’t seem to be of much use to anyone else.
Well, except extraterrestrials.
Our pal Gordon Cooper, in a letter he wrote to the UN requesting the release of covered up information on UFOs, described how he had himself seen an extraterrestrial being just casually being brought into a government facility. You know, like every other Tuesday.
There’s no information as to exactly what the aliens are doing on government facilities, probably restocking the vending machines, or cleaning the toilets. You know, the menial jobs the government usually reserves for aliens.
10. LINES OF LIGHTS
There are various reasons a person might see lines of lights – a reflection in the window, migraines, LSD flashbacks. But when you see them in space, there are considerably fewer alternative explanations to an actual, straight up, real-life line of lights.
That’s what NASA astronaut Leroy Chiao said he saw when he was out on a spacewalk in 2005.
“I saw some lights that seemed to be in a line, and it was like an upside down check mark, and I saw them fly by.”
So what was it Chiao saw while out on his spacewalk? We don’t know about you, but we’ll take that check mark as a sign from the aliens that they approve of Leroy’s superior spacewalking. Nice job, Leroy.
9. THE ROCK ROBBER
We all have that dark side of us, the part that leans in close to our brain and whispers, “Hey, that sleeping person would look great with demonic horns super glued to their forehead”. Most of us don’t act on those wicked thoughts. But then there are those of us who go a little too far and convince our friend they are the actual real life devil.
Thad Roberts was the guy that went a bit too far.
In 2001 Roberts was accepted into NASA’s elite astronaut co-op program. Unlike most of the others on the program, however, Roberts was flat broke.
But he quickly made a name for himself as a rebel, a risk taker, sneaking into the space shuttle simulator for unofficial rides, and suchlike. When he saw 842 lbs of moon rocks – worth about $21m – just sitting in a laboratory safe, unused and ignored, he decided he was gonna put them to some use.
However, the buyer Roberts lined up got suspicious as to their legality and contacted the FBI, like a filthy narc. They investigated the case and promptly jailed him for 100 months.
In 2012 Roberts revealed his dual motives: love and science. He had fallen hard for a fellow program attendee, and felt that together the funds from the sale of the rocks could help them make beautiful, cutting edge science discoveries together. How sweet.
8. NASA IS OKAY WITH CRASHES
NASA has a reputation for being kinda strict about who it decides can be thrown into space at terrifying speeds. It has high standards, which you would sort of expect from an organization that routinely puts members of our idiot species at the controls of vehicles worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
One of the things you would expect to be high up on NASA’s list of potential pilot candidates is that said astronaut in no way has the potential to make the vehicle plummet to it’s doom.
Turns out, they’re kinda relaxed about that.
In a 2016 documentary about his life, Eugene Cernan revealed that NASA has no real qualms about guys who are a little free and easy with their collisions. According to Cernan, in 1971 just two weeks before Apollo 14 launched – for which Cernan was selected as backup commander – he crashed a helicopter. He figured he’d screwed up his chances, but NASA called him to express the equivalent of a “meh” – the job was still his if he wanted it.
A year later he flew to the moon, and is to date the last man to step foot on it.
7. ALIENS ARE ANTI-NUCLEAR WAR
With relatively few exceptions, we can agree that most of us are pretty firmly against the nuclear apocalypse, right? Sure, there are a few morons among us, perhaps with an orange tint to their skin, that have their tiny hands hovering above the button, desperate to press it at a moment’s provocation. But for the most part, we’re anti-nuclear.
Turns out, the aliens are too.
Our good friend and all-round extraterrestrial campaign cheerleader, Edgar Mitchell revealed in his email to John Podesta that the aliens are so staunchly against the threat of nuclear war, that they’ve gone so far as to actually shoot test missiles out of the sky.
At least somebody’s looking out for us. Or maybe they have a more sinister plan for us…we for one welcome our new alien overlords and their program of indentured servitude.
{ http://alien-ufo-sightings.com/ }
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