Mopje
Dorothy and Edna two "senior" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop.
Dorothy: "That nice Joe asked me out for a date . . . I know that you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."
Edna: "Well . . . I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car . . a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
Then he takes me out for dinner. . a marvelous dinner - lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show . . . let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me.... two times!"
Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! . . so you are telling me I shouldn't go
out with him?"
Edna: "No, no, no . I'm just saying, wear an old dress."
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confession
Confession
Upon entering the confessional she said: "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
The priest said: "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
The old woman said: "Last night a young man made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard en then said: "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."
The old woman asked: "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest said: "No, but it might wipe that smile off your face!"